git commit -m "fixed some problems"
git push -f

Killing a parent that has a few children

Last hour of my job today:

Hardstyle blasting out of the speakers at full volume

Everyone drinking a beer

Boss coming in with "Fuck this shit we're gonna game!"

This is what I call a good end of the work week 😍

Long but worth it...

So I was cleaning out my Google Drive last night, and deleted some old (2 years and up) files. I also deleted my old work folder, it was for an ISP I worked for over 2 years ago. After deleting the files I had a little twinge of "Man I hope they're not still using those". But seriously, it'd be a pretty big security risk if I was still the owner of those files... right? Surely they copied them and deleted all the info from the originals. IP addresses, Cisco configs, username and passwords for various devices, pretty much everything but customer info.

Guess who I get a call from this morning... "Hi this is Debbie from 'ISP'. I was trying to access the IP Master List and I can't anymore. I was just told to call you and see if there's any way to get access to it again" (Not her real name...)

I had to put her on hold so I could almost die of laughter...

Me: "Sorry about that Debbie, I haven't worked for that company for over 2 years. Your telling me in all that time no one thought to save them locally? No one made a copy? I still had the original documents?!"

Long pause

D: "Uh... Apparently not..."

Another long pause

D: "So is there any way you can give me access to them again?"

Me: "They're gone Debbie. I deleted them all last night."

D: Very worried voice "Can... Can you check?"

This kids is why you never assume you'll always have access to a cloud stored file, make local copies!!

A little bit of background on this company, the owner's wife fired me on trumped up "time card discrepancy" issues so she could hire her freshly graduated business major son. The environment over there was pretty toxic anyway...

I feel bad for "Debbie" and the other staff there, it's going to be a very bad week for them. I also hope it doesn't impact any customers. But... It is funny as hell, especially since I warned the owner as I was clearing out my desk to save copies, and plan on them being gone soon. Apparently he never listened.

This is why you should have a plan in place... And not just wing it...

PS. First Post!

I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.

Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"

Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."

New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".

She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...

New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"

I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.

Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"

Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."

QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"

Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"

I keep grinning, and I nod.

"I might have offered her a permanent contract"

Q: How long did the loop take?

A: For a while

Thank you @dfox

Glad I could help with the .com domain!

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

Base10 is interesting.
Did you know that any number > 9 has this weird thing where if you sub it's digits from the number over and over, it'll eventually become 9?

For example: 35
35 - 3 - 5 = 27
27 - 2 - 7 = 18
27 - 1 - 8 = 9

Try it with any number you like.

Visited my parents again today!

Arrived home.

Suddenly my sister starts to talk about the new dutch mass surveillance law and how it's all bad and the possible consequences.

😶😐😮

Normally I'm the one who says that and is told to shut up after a while.

I'm a proud brother!

Best joke I have read this week...

So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.

As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.

Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.

The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.

So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.

This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.

!rant

Advice
[1] Don’t panic! All will become clear in time.
[2] You don’t have to know every detail of C++ to write good programs.
[3] Focus on programming techniques, not on language features.

just read in "A Tour of C++11" by Bjarne Stroustrup

It's not just true for C++, that's true for everything

How to order a list in Python

She - So. Do you read ?

Me - Yes. Infact a lot. Daily. My life is filled with it.

She - Wow. Nice. So what do you read mostly ? Which one is your favourite

Me - Mostly Documentations. Vuejs documentation is my favourite followed by express and mongodb documentation. And yeah webpack. You should read them too. Then there is a book on ES6, 'Understanding ES6' by Nikolas S Zakas, famous author and programmer. Great stuff

Do you guys also go full blind when some retard shows you his screen with full brightness and no dark theme?

Github stats:

coworker 1: 3,535k ++ 987k --
coworker 2: 1,563k ++ 735k --
etc.
me: 453k ++ 7,848k --

I guess this confirms my job at the company as "Backend Crap Remover".

*Dev in his 40's from our counter-part office.

Me: Here's my SSH keys.

Dev: What's this?

Me: SSH keys. Give me access to the repository.

Dev: We don't use any version control here. Let's just use FTP or Remote Desktop and just download the codes.

Our testers want us devs to start paying 50 cents for each bug the testers find. But they won't agree to paying us devs 50 cents for each bug that makes it into production.

"Are you running android?"
"No Samsung"
"So your OS is android"
"No Samsung"

<rant>why the fuck do live demos NEVER work properly when a day ago the code was fine?? What is this bullshit sorcery!?</rant>

Apple rejected my app, because they throught there was a frickin Windows phone on my loading screen.

How insecure can you be?

Get into bed.

Gets all comfy.

About to drift off.

Realizes solution for the problem I have spent all week on.

Now wide awake.

Guess who's not sleeping tonight!

"Why are people using Git? It's too complicated. Dropbox can do the same kind of things."

- A fellow CS student at university

"Let's add security later"

Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

*goes on site looking for free anime to stream*

Site: *popup* we noticed you're using an ad blocker! Please turn it off to continue using our site!

Me, an intellectual: *opens chrome developer tools, finds the HTML for the popup, opens its corresponding CSS and adds display: none; continues watching anime blissfully, without popups and ads*

Who said being a developer wasn't a super power?

I just saved the world?

Client: our app has low ratings, we fired our previous dev company and hiring you instead.
Us: all right, seems like to make a better app we need 5 months.
C: you're kidding, do it in 6 weeks.
U: Ok, but we'll have to drop some features.
C: get rid of X and Y, nobody uses them.
U: deal!

... 6 weeks later...
U: here's the new app: better graphics, easier to use, more stable and more future-proof.
C: Cool! Let's deploy!

... 2 days later...
C: we just released but the users are really pissed off!
U: what do they say?
C: "what the fuck happened with X and Y? they were the only thing we're using! what a load of crap! 1 star"

Dear client, next time get to know better your users...