So this happened today.

Client: hey I sent this ticket, what's the status/have you located the issue?
Me: well, it says it quite obviously in the error message...? (i actually said that, toned down afterwards a little)
Client: where's the error message then?
Me: 5th line....? It's literally there in plain english?
Client: ok so what does it mean?
Me:..............? "marked as spam by the receiving server"?!
Client: yeah ok but what does that mean?

😐

Thing to keep in mind: they're a web dev/email solutions company.

😐😩

- No I wont give you a ballpark estimate.
- No I wont grab a cup of coffee to discuss your idea
- No I wont check out your existing app/website

I'm a professional and my time is actually what I'm selling. If you want me to spend my time on you then you better spend yours to persuade me.

Send me a brief, your research on competitors, your roadmap, a deck, whatever. I'll probably won't read any of it. But at least I'll now that you you mean business and you value and respect my time.

*me, 11 pm: "Welp, I think I'm gonna stop for tonight"
*Me, 2 am of same evening: "ThE eDiT fOrM iS fUnCtIoNaL aNd wOrKinG!!!"

!dev
I never mix my personal and professional life. But I've totally lost that ability today.

She said no! 😶

At my old company one of my colleagues introduced async / await into our csharp code. He created interfaces and showed us a great structuring of his code. Sadly a few weeks later he left the company, because of personal reasons and a bug appeared in his written service. Our senior developer took the issue and complained for like 1 week. That you can't find anything, that interfaces are useless, that async / await is slow and sucks and that we should stop trying to bring new structures into the code base and do things the old way. In the end he deleted all the great things that my colleague introduced and wrote bad and smelly code.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

“This should be super quick.” - product manager

Me: would you like me to design the website as well?
Client: no, we have a web designer. you just have to implement it.
Me: *receives the design, made with powerpoint* 😐

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

Today we have an exciting devRant announcement! As many observant members of the community have problably noticed, since launch we've been using the domain name devrant.io since the .com was already taken. Today, we're happy to announce, we now own devrant.com and it is now the official devRant URL!

How did this happen you ask? The devrant.com domain was already owned by a developer named Wiard when we launched devRant. It took a while to track him down, but when we did, turned out he saw the good we were doing and wanted to help the devRant community by generously offering us the .com domain for a very reasonable exchange (considering that we are a self-funded bootstrapped startup!).

Since Wiard recently started writing a blog on devrant.com, he had to find a new home for it. His new blog is https://sysrant.com and I encourage everyone to check it out! Great topical/educational dev/sys-admin related articles? Check. Someone who cares about the devRant community and allowed us to leave the firey hell that is .io? Check. So check it out!!

Some technical info:

This change is immediate and all devrant.io non-api requests will now redirect to devrant.com. We might have missed a few things (purposely or accidentely) so we're going to be going through and converting anything that's left. If you use the devRant API, your implementation should not break since API requests are meant to be excluded for now, but I highly recommend switching any API URLs to https://devrant.com so you can avoid issues in the future if we decide to stop redirecting devrant.io API requests. Also one note, there was an issue for about a minute after we turned on the redirected where some API requests to devrant.io might have 301 redirected to devrant.com. If an app you were using broke, try clearing whatever cache the 301 redirect might be stored in and the issue should go away.

Feel free to post any questions you might have here (and please let me know about any issues you might discover!), and once again, huge thanks to Wiard!

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

Stack Overflow: Search on Google before asking questions
Google: *Shows stack overflow in top results*

I am a junior dev and Elon musk inspires me to become rich and innovative. ^_^

Mark my words! Within next 5 years i will be super rich and setup my own company of genetically engineered catgirls <3
#wait_for_it!

I hate front-end and CSS

Don't burn other devs just because you don't like their solution. Discuss empower and stop being a total prick. People should look up to you because they respect you not because you put them down!

Before search anything on online, Add this hosts entry.

w3schools.com w3fools.com

“Stop starting, start finishing”

My place be like

“Never stop starting”

Oh where to start.
TLDR, *actually* prepare students for the *real world*.

- TEACH GIT.
- Stop with the useless projects with esoteric restrictions that absolutely do not exist in the software work field
- ENCOURAGE collaboration rather than make it academic dishonesty with high punishment consequences. Devs need to learn Teamwork!!
- Don't start 101 with Python then go straight to C++ in 102
....
good lord, the easier question is what DOESN'T need to change in CS undergrad programs.

Made a video-call interview. I was asked to design and start the development of a chatbot. I sent my work. Never had a response. A friend of mine was recruited and told me, my entire code was used in the company. :)

Just a test they said.

(IMHO) The current system fails to identify that there are at least 2 main paths one can take in our field. Software engineering and computer science.
Software engineering should not be just a course. It should be a craft, a degree. Where one can learn practical things not just algorithms that are used in niche cases.
Computer science branch won't be that different from what we've got now. It can be even more focused on theory.

A guy walks into tech interview. Solid 6 years of programming and teaching others. Proceeds to stumble on basic questions and fails to demonstrate even junior level of ability yet keeps alluding on how valued he is in his current position. How do people become so detached from reality?

I told my girlfriend about Devrant. Now she's hooked onto it and doesn't pay attention to me. And now I'm ranting about it on Devrant. Oh the irony! T_T

"Fresher Job"
"Experience: 2-4 years"

Where should I put this stick in? 😤

I wanna rant about a freelance job but I can't. Tell me your freelancing horror stories instead :D

Kubernetes Note:
"Default" is not the default DNS policy.

OK!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Be current.
Don't teach just languages, teach how to think programmatically
Make laptops more essential than notebooks when you're teaching
Spend more time on trying to solve problems rather than giving the textbook solution

Me: we've refactored the project to make it easier to support in the future
Non-technical VP: Cool can you print it off so I can have a look

😕

Yes please.

We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.