Details
-
AboutI'm a bioinformatics analyst (think computer science plus genetics)
-
SkillsPython, R
-
LocationNew York
-
Github
Joined devRant on 10/28/2016
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."
2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."17 -
Duplex: Hi, Umm... Can I book 3 seats on Wednesday?
Restaurant: Sure! And what time is it?
Duplex: Yeah, Oh, I'd like it at NullPointer Exception if it's possible.
Restaurant: Invalid parameter "NullPointer Exception" restarting program...4 -
Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.
Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.
Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"
Me: *completely losing it* 🤣
I fucking love this place 😊24 -
The most helpful error message of all time:
Unhandled exception in line 0: Script error.
Literally translates to: “Something went wrong but I’m not gonna tell you what.” -
My CV is done.
I listened to some hints, removed some of the childish and selfish texts and I am in this place, do you have any tips?
Yes, I put those photos specially36 -
- locked my PC and went to launch
- after 30 minutes, enter my password
* all apps and windows are gone and the it's like a new startup of the windows
* notification: windows is up to date now
-- oh go to hell now6 -
I've been asking myself this question for a while lately.
Can I combine the music coming out of my phone with the sound from games on my PC?
"Why?", you ask.
Because I want it!
So I started reading man pages and documentation about ALSA and PA. A couple of hours later it just works. I don't know how or why, but I did it, all by myself, because no one does such weird stuff.
I'm way too excited about this.11 -
Use Docker, it's awesome because you won't need VMs anymore.
Using Win7: You need a VM for running docker. 😫10 -
Spent all day designing my website only to delete it all because I didn't like it... Day well spent...8
-
Someones keyboard just stopped working in my job.
They called the helpdesk and i told them to unplug the keyboard from the back of the PC and try a different usb port before i send them down a new keyboard.
Their reply?
‘How am i meant to do that? I mean... *laughs* I didn’t go to college for this kind of stuff. I know you did but you need to explain it in English for me instead of using technical terms.’
....
So i had to describe what a USB looks like, and tell her how to follow the (only) skinny black cable she has on her desk, down the back of the desk and into the PC. She got overwhelmed by this cable being the same colour as the thicker VGA cable, so ended up unplugging everything!
Its fine though, as when she plugged them all back in, everything was back working.
She finished the call by saying:
“Like, i know how to use a computer but I just don’t understand all this technical mumbo jumbo, like USB’s and stuff? How should i know about that?”
...
I sincerely think interviews need to have just 5 minutes dedicated to the person showing that they know what a bloody USB is!!, can turn on/off a PC, open outlook, and follow basic instructions.
Ugh I work with idiots 😢17 -
> Get home for lunch, time to get some work done
> Fire up windows to program my keyboard
> WindowsUpdate, fine I can wait
> Reboot, grub rescue - no partition found
> Fire up a live CD, windows update nuked my linux partition (literally - now empty space instead of my previous ubuntu partition)
> Reinstall ubuntu
> Now stuck on «Loading operating system»
Oh well, I know what I'm doing tonight
> Pic related16 -
*15 new emails*
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy
We have updated our privacy policy41 -
So I recently was donated a bunch of old iPhones to fix up and resell. When I turned on one of the iPhone 5s'es, I was greeted with this:
Okey-dokey... I guess I'll just sit here and wait...10 -
Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.
That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.
You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.
Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.
I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.
But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.
Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?
Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.
But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.
Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.8 -
Hey everyone,
We’ll be doing maintenance on our web server on Sunday, April 29 at around 3pm EDT. The app will probably be unreachable for about 10-15 minutes over that time. We apologize for the inconvenience and we’ll be sure to get it back up as quickly as possible.
Feel free to let me know if you have questions.31 -
We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.
So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.
The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.
All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.
And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.
And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!
We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.
While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.
Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.5 -
My programming teacher is a freaking degenerate. He spend 7 months teaching us basic stuff like if-clauses, while-loops and stuff like that over and over again - everyone was annoyed but he didn't listen to us because "some people still don't get it". (The reason for this could be their total absence during lessons but who am I to tell.)
Beginning of 2018 he realised we hadn't much time left to prepare for our final exam so he tried self-taught learning. 8 sorting algorithms, recursion, how to write classes and objects in less than a week. And of course there was a classtest about this - needless to say that like nobody passed it. He still has no clue why we are "so lazy and dumb".
One of his favourite code examples is a calculator. I don't know how many i've programmed and they've gotten more and more ridiculous. (Who the hell would want interfaces like IComparer in a calculator?)
He even wanted to convince us that for-loops can't count down (and that things like "i--" doen't exist.)
I could go on and on about this guy and his craziness.27 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.
>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass
My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃24