------------ Programmer's Fact -----------

The root is at the top of the Tree🌳.

.

"We are looking for a developer with 10 years of GDPR experience."

My mom actually is right: "He makes websites, but the background things we don't see!"

My dad thinks I write all of my code in binary: "Joost writes zero's and one's all day long!"

My sister thinks every website I create is a blog...

And finally most of my friends think I'm a hacker and I'm gonna break into their phone (iPhones pff)

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

original dev-related memes with a cause are great

> Looks at grad school friend.
> Friend looks back through 7 heads of hair

When everyone quit and leave you with all the shitty code they wrote.

Yes. Very precise.

There are two kinds of developers in this world:
Those that finish the project they started, and

Simple and accurate!
UI/UX makes a huge difference to average users. Just because you're the developer/expert user, do not think what's obvious to you is obvious to everyone. Think about being in a bubble. This is why you need collaboration with people in a different scope. Or atleast gather feedback from users.

WHY THE ACTUALL FUCK DO PEOPLE PUT JQUERY IN EVERY FUCKING PROJECT EVEN IF IT IS A FUCKING ELECTRON APP AND EVEN WORSE WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO THEY MIX VUE AND JQUERY JUST WHYYY 😢

we fell in love because both of us prefer tabs over spaces

As a Software Design junky, I just enjoy using TypeScript for more conventional C-style programming structures in JavaScript !

Outliers strikes again!

Wow...it all makes sense 😫😰

Just got our development Laravel docker image down to under 124 MB with alpine linux. The satisfaction...

That moment when you realize that if you want fast with nodejs you should know cpp

When you're editing the css of a legacy website

Reading through legacy code, only to discover the comment:

/*
* to the poor guy who has to fix this
* ...
* I'm sorry
*/

Trying to tackle legacy code

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

My morning:

Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?

Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.

Me: Did you let him know he broke it?

Intern: No.

Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?

Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.

(I NEED a stress ball people)

Back end

We called it "Project Hindenburg".

A huge planning and logistics app with hundreds of screens and dozens of interwoven subfunctions, suddenly needed to be able to support multiple time zones. Our project was to retrofit every area that touched on dates or times, to allow the user to specify, and work in, any time zone.

At this point in the story I can tell whether you have had to work with time zones in code. People who haven't are butting in with something that begins, "that should be fairly simple, you just need to..." followed by some irrelevant noise that betrays their ignorance.

People who have worked with time zones are nodding in shared pain, like fellow attendees of a survivors meeting.

You see, programmers tend to think of time zones as arithmetic; in reality, they are confusing, ambiguous, chaotic, and individual. You can't translate everything into a central time zone (eg UTC) because you lose the user's intent. For example, if you schedule a meeting for 3pm and then move it to the next day, you want it at 3pm even if the clocks have changed.

Project Hindenburg ended up using the entire development staff of the company for well over a year. It smashed our release projections to rubble, made an already tangled code base completely unmaintainable, introduced mind-bending edge case bugs that reduced staff across the company to tears (literally), and led to most of the mid-level and senior developers eventually quitting (including me).

I am @fuckfuckityfuck, and that was the story of Project Hindenburg.

take a shower. honestly most of my code problems have been solved while showering.

console.log the shit out of everything.

That time when your table start looking like a Toblerone..

And then crash crash.. crash...crash

My life is a mess but my code is clean.

o.p.c.

When people ask for factory images for their phones on xda!!