Q: Why did the database administrator leave his wife?

A: She had one-to-many relationships.

Me: double taps a rant to upvote.

Popup: Hint. You can double tap a rant to upvote.

Umm, sure. Thanks..

Type the following in your terminal...

curl parrot.live

You won’t be disappointed!

I've made a thing and I'm proud of it.:D

As a student on platforms like these, hearing people talk about languages and concepts you've never heard of

Just picked up devRant++. Because I’m feeling support-y and shit.

> It's forty years in the future
> Chilling in orbit, in my car
> *phone vibrates*
> "You have 1 new message"
> LinkedIn: People are looking at your profile

Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.

Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.

*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*

Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?

Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.

Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.

He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.

Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

Finally moved. My Internet speed went from 500kbs in general to 50mbs!

I can finally download por.... ISO's without having to wait for hours!

how many using vim in every day use ?

Advice from my Senior :

"Don't use linux, its crap!"

And here I am using Linux like a boss!

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

Is anybody else super excited? S03E02 in 14 hours!!! :D

"We need you to build a feature on our website to stop people taking screenshots. I can use the print screen key and then easily print out our website design. You need to make the site design harder to copy".

This is an extract from a recent client email I received. To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

Guess who just collapsed several lines of code and then spent 10min looking for them.

It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

People on Stack Overflow are SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES

"You didn't show us where you declared this unimportant array, please review this article for how to ask questions"

My question doesn't concern the array, my question concerns how the system works, all code I provided was only for clarity. Read my fucking question you arrogant asshole. You have lots of points, fine, go tell your mother, but you assume I don't know how to ask a question which you clearly did not read.

Fact=!rant

Gf: Hey look, YouTube shows a preview of the video on mouse hover
Me: pornhub did it first
Gf:what?
Me:wut?

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

When you can't take part in the new avatar shirts (or any avatar swag for that matter) because you mostly lurk and hardly ever rant...

Soo true... Light vs. Dark...

SSH as root

Just inherited a web application, worst security ever, all it does is call an unsecured application that does an active directory call, verifies the user name exists and then grants the role that the username is assigned. That is it oh and if you can find your way into the admin panel anyone can edit anyone else's role.

Come to find out this application got the dev who designed it a promotion to lead.

If you’re having SQL injection problems, I feel bad for you son, I got 99 tables but… fffffuck. Now i only have one ☹️

What are your main desktop storage sizes? My are:

SSD: 256 GB
HDD: 1 TB

When a "Hello World" tutorial doesn't print the words "Hello World".

when Microsoft just doesn't care about security