You either die a "tempfile" or live long enough to see yourself become a "asdf"

TCP Jedi: Master, how are you?
UDP Jedi: Good i am.

credit:@AlgoRythm

There are two types of people. Those who can get out of vim and those who ^c^z^z:w:w:q:adkjkasjd▲▼:q1:q!

JuniorDev: I made some changes to your code and it seems to work better.
Me: Awesome, thanks dude.
Inner-me: Who the hell does he think he is.

do{
me.action = roman.action;
}while(me.in("Rome") == True);

The longer you code, the darker your IDE becomes. #000000 for life

Installing a linux distro without purchasing a product key

I wasnt even at work and got torched. #NightShift #Ya-IllFixIt

I am a pentester.
'I am a pentester.
'Iam a pentester/n/r"
'"Iamapentester\/n\/r-- '"''
'"'/>alert(1):</script>
%68%65%6c%6c%6f

The bug made it through unnoticed. sh1t storm wednesdays. FML

Ranter from South Africa! Stickers gone global.
sudo apt-get install rant-stickers

devrant is not stackoverflow people. stop copying and pasting rants. It's likely we've seen it before. You're devs, use yo brains. #rant4rant #ctrlCctrlV

Reaction when you notice shells were being created on your web servers over night.

sport event bookingapp for android, ios and blackberry. 3 weeks. we finished. client wasnt happy with the colors and sued us and we won. I left the company because of that bs deadlines.

when you notice everyone in the room stopped programming because your silent fart 5min ago wasnt so innocent.

"No one cared who i was until i put on the Mask" <- C pun with C meme. C is bane.

The last known image of a Cobol developer. #conspiracy #Illuminati

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

"we have all had that code which you read over and over again till you realise your mistake.';

read it again. #syntaxHell

the look and chat project managers give right before they tell you the specs changed.

pm: heyyy
dev: what is it?
pm: how are you?
dev :{realising the spec changed}

when the scope of work is vague AF.