"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Stackoverflow vs GitHub

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

No, thank you.😆

Good morning from the top of my home.

Just got a job as a junior PHP dev. Company is really chill as long as the work gets done. I can learn a lot here, and I am doing backend stuff mostly.

Got a great PC with 2 big screens and Ubuntu freshly installed by me.

Loving it so far!

At Job interview.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.

Interviewer: What!?

Me: What?

My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:

Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust

That made me happy

Dope

Another day at work...

I never understood Snapchat.
- Its a text messaging app with all the useful features removed
- Its a camera app that deletes all the photos you take with it
- Its a news app that only shows you clickbait

Had my first 'mentor' moment at work today!

Newest guy couldn't figure something out and asked me, slightly nervously, for help.

Suddenly I went into mentorish state, explaining stuff I was doing while fixing it in under a minute!

Felt good 😃

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

Be honest.

How many hours of your work day do you do real work?

Right now, I am at about 7/8.
Usually about 5/8.

*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".

Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".

All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life

lol this

Today I received the best bug report I could've ever asked for..

Received an email from a member of our customer service centre containing a description of the bug they'd found and not only did it contain the steps to reproduce the bug, but a goddamn video of him reproducing the suspected bug!

The greatest feeling when the client decides to take time to make your life that little bit easier

Type the following in your terminal...

curl parrot.live

You won’t be disappointed!

To tell someone that you’re wrong is called CRITICISM

To do it officially is called TESTING

🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪

- Anonymous

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

today the inevitable finally happened.. I put my password in the code and committed to github.

that's what I call a rubber duck collection =)

Lol, someone forked my abandoned-udemy course project

Me: "I'll never be able to do this"

Me: "I suck at coding"

Me: "What am I even looking at"

Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"

Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"

Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."

Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."

GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.

I just found new band called "localhost". They recently published their new album named "127.0.0.1" with an awesome song "It works on my machine".

It's awesome :D

Damn JavaScript

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

I want to pay respects to my favourite teacher by far.

I turned up at university as a pretty arrogant person. This was because I had about 6 years of self-taught programming experience, and the classes started from the ansolute basics. I turned up to my first classes and everything was extremely easy. I felt like I wouldn't learn anything for at least a year.

Then, I met one of my lecturers for the first time. He was about 50~60 years old and had been programming for all of his career. He was known by everyone to be really strict and we were told by other lecturers that it could be difficult for some people to be his student.

His classes were awesome. He was friendly, but took absolutely no shit, and told everything as it was. He had great stories from his life, which he used to throw out during the more boring computer science topics. He had extremely strict rules for our programming style, and bloody good reasons for all of them. If we didn't follow a clear rule on an assignment, he'd give us 0%. To prove how well this worked, nobody got 0%.

We eventually learned that he was that way because he used to work on real-time systems for the military, where if something didn't work then people could die.

This was exactly what I needed. In around one semester I went from a capable self-taught kid, to writing code that was clear, maintainable and fast, without being hacky.

I learned so much in just that small time, and I owe it all to him. So often when I write code now I think back to his rules. Even if I disagree with some, I learned to be strict and consistent.

Sadly, during the break between our first and second year, he passed away due to illness. There was so many lessons still to be learned from him, and there's now no teachers with enough knowledge to continue his best modules like compiler writing.

He is greatly missed, I've never had greater respect for a teacher than for him.