The spam denier
_____

An old phone conversation with a client:

Me : Hello

Client : My website and server are suspended? why is that?

Me : Your server sends spam messages.

Client : We do not send spam messages, we are on vacation, there is none in the office.

Me : Yes, but it is not necessarily you, according to our logs, your server sent spam messages in Chinese and Russian, so someone from Russia or China....etc.

Client : I do not believe you, we do not speak russian or chinese, how could we then write spam messages in those languages?

Me : I told you, maybe someone exploited some vulnerability in your website or server firewall. And if you want to activate your services, please check with your webmaster and sysadmin to secure your ....

Client: I tell you my son, because I am old and I have more life experience than you ... I am 60 years old and I tell you, spam does not exist, and YOU suspended my website and server, and created issues to sell me more of your solutions and services.

I won't check my server, I won't hire a webmaster or a sysadmin, AND YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY SERVER NOW !

(I suddenly realized that I am talking to a wall, so I switched to a robotic tone).

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services..

Client : YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY S...

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services...

Client : WHAT IS THIS SPAM STORY ANYWAY, I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ...

Me : Please google that word and you will understand what is spam is...

Client : YOU ARE F**ING LIARS, SPAM DOES NOT EXIST... ACTIVATE MY WEBSITE N.... Beeeep !

I hang up.

Well, I thought about configuring an automatic response for this client, or a for-loop.

His voice was really unpleasant, as if he is a heavy smoker.

It's a merge conflict

Hahahaha 😂😂😂

From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:

https://goalkicker.com

Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.

I said camel toe instead camel case in a meeting today...

WordPress has really cool features!
You can uninstall it, for example.

*at work* (fictional names)

Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.

😆

Interview

HR: So .. tell us .. where do you see our AI acting in 5 years?

ME: Doing your job minus the stupid questions.

*silence*

Boss breaks out in laughter.
"Oh boy you're hired"

Meme time

The truth, whole truth, and nothing but there truth.

Eternal confusion.

Time spent on Android Studio:

30% - Actual programming
70% - Waiting for gradle to build

Interviewer: We're worried you don't have enough backend experience for this frontend position.

Haha 😂 Right.

My Avengers Merchandise 😂😂

Object oriented thinking :)

Just joined a new job. Got into a team of 10+ devs working on one code base. Its spread across many cities and few devs sit together.

They've been versioning their code by mailing each other .zip files of the entire 400MB code base at the end of each day.

Me: Can we have git or svn please?
Manager: SVN? Don't worry about that now, we'll get SVN when the project is finished.

Managed to get an SVN repo running after 2 weeks. FML.

We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

When your classification model outputs 0.5 ❗❗❗

❓❓❗❗
( ..)
([ ]\ 💻
\\

When my program was working fine yesterday but crashes today ...

My goals:
- Resist the urge to kill my boss
- Graduate
- Remember, I'd be someone's bitch in prison so definitly don't murder my boss
- Find an amazing new job
- Work in new job for some years to avoid suspicion, then kill former boss..

Any other front-end developers check out Visual Studio Code? It’s got a lot of really nice features, including the absolute best implementation of Emmet I’ve ever seen. My new favorite editor on both Windows and Mac!

Dude change your theme! That shit is brighter than my future

!rant
How cool is FreeCodeCamp!!

So we’re in a completely bugge stage of the repo and ofcourse the client goes: we want this and that functionality live today. And i can’t say no so now i have to figure out if this is a smart thing to do. I guess its not

Lazy habit#1: Always Ctrl+C more than twice just in case the bugger fails to copy to the damn clipboard !!

how i spend so long on this as a child i dont know, but i wouldn't change it for the world, damn this brings back memories.

.... blockchain hype.. 😂😂🤣

My colleague just committed some code with description "improved some bugs"

...should I be worried? 😂

Solution to all of our Git problems