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Worst dev team failure I've experienced?
One of several.
Around 2012, a team of devs were tasked to convert a ASPX service to WCF that had one responsibility, returning product data (description, price, availability, etc...simple stuff)
No complex searching, just pass the ID, you get the response.
I was the original developer of the ASPX service, which API was an XML request and returned an XML response. The 'powers-that-be' decided anything XML was evil and had to be purged from the planet. If this thought bubble popped up over your head "Wait a sec...doesn't WCF transmit everything via SOAP, which is XML?", yes, but in their minds SOAP wasn't XML. That's not the worst WTF of this story.
The team, 3 developers, 2 DBAs, network administrators, several web developers, worked on the conversion for about 9 months using the Waterfall method (3~5 months was mostly in meetings and very basic prototyping) and using a test-first approach (their own flavor of TDD). The 'go live' day was to occur at 3:00AM and mandatory that nearly the entire department be on-sight (including the department VP) and available to help troubleshoot any system issues.
3:00AM - Teams start their deployments
3:05AM - Thousands and thousands of errors from all kinds of sources (web exceptions, database exceptions, server exceptions, etc), site goes down, teams roll everything back.
3:30AM - The primary developer remembered he made a last minute change to a stored procedure parameter that hadn't been pushed to production, which caused a side-affect across several layers of their stack.
4:00AM - The developer found his bug, but the manager decided it would be better if everyone went home and get a fresh look at the problem at 8:00AM (yes, he expected everyone to be back in the office at 8:00AM).
About a month later, the team scheduled another 3:00AM deployment (VP was present again), confident that introducing mocking into their testing pipeline would fix any database related errors.
3:00AM - Team starts their deployments.
3:30AM - No major errors, things seem to be going well. High fives, cheers..manager tells everyone to head home.
3:35AM - Site crashes, like white page, no response from the servers kind of crash. Resetting IIS on the servers works, but only for around 10 minutes or so.
4:00AM - Team rolls back, manager is clearly pissed at this point, "Nobody is going fucking home until we figure this out!!"
6:00AM - Diagnostics found the WCF client was causing the server to run out of resources, with a mix of clogging up server bandwidth, and a sprinkle of N+1 scaling problem. Manager lets everyone go home, but be back in the office at 8:00AM to develop a plan so this *never* happens again.
About 2 months later, a 'real' development+integration environment (previously, any+all integration tests were on the developer's machine) and the team scheduled a 6:00AM deployment, but at a much, much smaller scale with just the 3 development team members.
Why? Because the manager 'froze' changes to the ASPX service, the web team still needed various enhancements, so they bypassed the service (not using the ASPX service at all) and wrote their own SQL scripts that hit the database directly and utilized AppFabric/Velocity caching to allow the site to scale. There were only a couple client application using the ASPX service that needed to be converted, so deploying at 6:00AM gave everyone a couple of hours before users got into the office. Service deployed, worked like a champ.
A week later the VP schedules a celebration for the successful migration to WCF. Pizza, cake, the works. The 3 team members received awards (and a envelope, which probably equaled some $$$) and the entire team received a custom Benchmade pocket knife to remember this project's success. Myself and several others just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, my manager pulls several of us into a conference room
Me: "What the hell? This is one of the biggest failures I've been apart of. We got rewarded for thousands and thousands of dollars of wasted time."
<others expressed the same and expletive sediments>
Mgr: "I know..I know...but that's the story we have to stick with. If the company realizes what a fucking mess this is, we could all be fired."
Me: "What?!! All of us?!"
Mgr: "Well, shit rolls downhill. Dept-Mgr-John is ready to fire anyone he felt could make him look bad, which is why I pulled you guys in here. The other sheep out there will go along with anything he says and more than happy to throw you under the bus. Keep your head down until this blows over. Say nothing."11 -
** me setting up GitLab CI **
- run pipeline
- FAIL
- env variable not passed to one of the shell scripts
- set -x, rerun
- FAIL
- same reason. env variable is OK in the `set -x` output
- comment out `set -x`, rerun
- still FAIL
- same reason
- find a `set +x` left in one of the scripts
- comment that out
- rerun
- PASS
- WTF?!?!?!?
- continue on swearing for wasted better half of the day debugging my scripts12 -
> move out
> few months to get married
> get a client
> get another client
> first client starts to get messed up
> tell the first client to cancel the contract
> second client cancels my contract because the first client is pissing me off and making my productivity decline
> first client don't wanna cancel the contract nor pay me
> brings a lawyer
> 3 weeks to get married
> no job
> bills to pay
> lawyer to pay
great to be me6 -
This is what happens to overworked PMs.
Me: When users create accounts with social logins, they don’t have passwords in our database. If they try to enter an email and pw on the login form, what do you want the error message to say?
PM: Can we add a modal that says “Your account doesn’t have a password, set one now.” And have a password field?
Me: ☠️ That…would…allow…anyone…to…hijack…an…account…
PM: Right. Never mind.12 -
Welcome to this week's episode of "sudo-woodo tries to get a single Python script merged", starring...
•The software architect so senior they were working here while I was still in pre-school. Wasn't added as a reviewer and was completely absent on this project for two months but came in on this PR with a few questions, including questioning design decisions they agreed on the last time they saw the project.
•The QA lead with ten years of experience... in Java. Has never even touched Python and asked to review, only for every issue raised but one stemming from not knowing the language.
•The CI guy. A script guru who will find a problem with literally anything. Honestly the most helpful person of the bunch.
•My coworker. Hasn't said anything yet.
please send help -
I'll point names today
Boss: Quick! The Xero integration is not working anymore!
Xero Documentation: place your client secret in the HEADERS
Me: * places client secret in headers *
Xero API: Bad Request!
Me:
*re-reads documentation*
*creates new client secret*
*1 hour of trying*
Hmmmm
* places client secret in request body, not in headers *
Xero API: Ok!
UPDATE YOUR DOCUMENTATION
TELL US ABOUT IT IN THE CHANGELOGS5 -
Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today. Get unlimited downloads with a PRO account!"
Oh do I?
*deletes cookies and local storage*
*downloads another one*
Website: "Here is your PDF! You can download 1 more PDF today"5 -
That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Tired of a team and manager who refuse to make me feel like part of the team.
Officially started looking for a new job today.
🤞11 -
Me: "Some kind of algebra library would be really useful for this code/math course I'm doing, but it'd be hard to write"
Python devs: "Is this what you're looking for?"
https://www.sympy.org/en/index.html
Me: Yes. I'm now conflicted, coz on one hand I'm like, "I don't want to use any external hard to use libraries because that's the point of teaching it... But this makes the math easier to understand..."18 -
OK trust me, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO. NOT. TRY TO DO ANYTHING ON A COMPUTER WHEN YOU HAVE SMALLER SIBLINGS, my baby brother has broken my PC monitor, my laptop screen, my phone, and hell, I'm desperate to the point of jailbreaking my Nintendo switch, witch he almost broke already, I'm typing this on my school laptop BTW.9
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I am currently a CS major, studying in a toxic university that teaches no more than old-school stuff.
I know HTML, CSS, and JS (self-taught), and at present, I am spending time on React.js.
I'm also a competitive programmer.
I badly wanna move out of this toxic educational environment and wanna do something that's worth spending time on.
I am feeling like I am just wasting both my time and money in this old-school university.
what should I do? help me out?
I am thinking that once I am fluent enough with HTML, CSS, JS, React, and some database stuff, I must start finding jobs in small startups.
badly need some guidance. PLEASE HELP ME...24 -
Software engineers: "Maths is hard and scary!"
Also software engineers: "I've learnt to write a balanced binary search tree in c++ as interview prep!"
Mathematicians: "Have you guys heard of an AVL tree?"20 -
Apple denies jelly scroll problem on new iPads: https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...
This is nothing new: Steve Jobs himself told people to “just avoid holding iPhone 4 that way” in response to people being mad because iPhone 4 lost connection.
Apple is the WORST in handling user feedback, on par of Microsoft sponsoring concentration camps for immigrants (https://github.com/drop-ice). Though I still stand by my words of Apple products being engineering marvels.28 -
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"
Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"
If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.2 -
My teacher wants me to run HelloWorld Application made in Android Studio ._.
First of all, its f**king huge in size
Second, we thought that only Chrome was notorious for being ram hungry.
ERRRR MAAAAH GAAAWD CRINGE!!5 -
HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
The Link:
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
Dev: …19 -
Discretion is advised
I had a bizarre nightmare where I wake up tied, my head inside the glass cube, my eyelids stitched to my eyebrows so I can’t close my eyes, and then @rutee07 pours drain cleaner into that cube, through immense pain I feel my eyes turning cloudy and skin on my face turning into soap, meanwhile drain cleaner goes down my throat
And then I woke up. This dream was the reason behind my dice game liquid PH rant I posted not much earlier.3 -
Interviewing candidates for a middle/senior dev position:
Me: Imagine you have this button, but whatever it's doing when you click it, it's taking too long to load. How would you improve the speed performance?
Candidate: Redis!
Me: Okay... but how would you find where the bottleneck is?
C: Redis!
Me: How abo-
C: REDIS!3