Finally the solution!

This applies only to Headphone guys. Don't listen to songs that contain lyrics you understand. Something with foreign lyrics you can't predict is fine. This way you won't find your brain resonating with the song instead of your code.

I'm pretty sure most of you already knew this, but it's worth mentioning

Let's make a JavaScript framework and call it Vanilla.js just to fuck with everybody.

When will people learn that?
Java!=JavaScript

*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

*yesterday*
Client: "Perfect! How did you do this so quickly?"
Me: "I used a library"
*today*
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "Well, it has already taken too long...I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quiet and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday."
Me: "Library?...Ah, I meant plugin...like, code...a library is a bunch of packaged code"

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

Js frontend
Js backend
Js mobile apps
Js desktop apps
What's next? Js kernel?

DUDE , SUCKING AT SOMETHING IS THE FIRST STEP TO BEING SORTA GOOD AT SOMETHING

Love how a teacher of mine described IO wait for CPUs on a blackboard.
"That's calculation time." *draws three small lines on the blackboard* And this is IO wait. *draws a really long line, goes out of the class, out of the school, comes back* "Yes, this is IO wait. No matter how good and fast your CPU in your gaming PC is, if your hard drive is shit, everything is shit."

When you rewrite some sloppy idiot's code to be way clearer and straightforward. Then you fix a bug you introduced... and another... until the code ends up looking more or less the same as when you started...

When design wants to change everything right before the deadline

Breakup

Programmer family

Lol :)