You gotta get the basic questions out of the way. 🤷

Every time I try to git init ,and push the code to github,
I always forget the cmds to do it!

Every freaking time ,I have to google.

PM: We need security on signup, the password entry should contain "A capital letter, 2 numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell, a gang sign, a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin."
ME:

No credits, sorry

Wow..I just noticed that you can upvote a rant by double tapping on it ..just like instagram.. I just started instagram..so noticing it now..

I think I found an actual use for Scratch.
Good old Animations.

a trashcan at our school

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Pass my state examination ✅
Kid on the way ✅
Job locked down ✅

Linux smh

This job posting proves they're in desperate need of graphics designer..

Job hunting is not the best thing to do while being in the imposter syndrome phase.
Especially if one is an imposter.

I have reached the point where my main project with my arduino collection is building a sex robot and i dont even feel the least bit ashamed about it.

I just solved a problem that the CTO and senior devs couldn't get!!! I'm on top of the world!!

Lazy habit#1: Always Ctrl+C more than twice just in case the bugger fails to copy to the damn clipboard !!

Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+V ... done

New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take?"

         Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi."

         New engineer: "Why pi?"

         Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational."

Here we see the tracks of a JavaDev, which escaped from its basement enjoying the first snow...

Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0

Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.

Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.

Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.

Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!

Naturally, I escalate the issue.

Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.

Day 34

I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.

Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.

Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.

Lmfaoo

I got the job😄

When Coder has to do theory part..it literally sucks..

My sister got me some stickers as a birthday present but she didn't know where to buy them. So she painted a gift card instead...😮

Haha.. funny one I found online.

This new dude who would change status of tickets to "resolved", thinking that it actually fixed problems reported in those tickets.

I've worked with few incompetent people till now, but one guy who stands out is my peer who is a "Lead Developer".

First of all he knows nothing!! Even Jon Snow knows something, but this guy knows absolutely nothing. And on top of that he has a hard ass attitude. Never sticks to coding standards, pushes unwanted configuration files to Git, uses too many nested loops even when not even a single one is required.

And when I suggest him something, he starts giving these lame ass reasons and tries to avoid my comments. Then I say, "good luck with that buddy" and move on!!

Can’t relax when something is not working right, fuck

If you don't dream it, you won't live it.

I attempted an online test for a Java Developer role at a pretty big company.
The test had a JavaScript question.

🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

Just to clarify, the job description had no mention of JS

well, I'm atheist. but I approve. ;-)