"Bug fixes and performance improvements" - what I actually mean is that I shipped some dodgy code & this patch covers my humongous arse...sort of.

All software tests are "rust free guarantees".

That it is to say, if your car manufacturer issues rust free guarantees, their cars are prone to rust, which means they are shyte.

Ignore the official start/finish times. Instead, sync your office ours to that of someone in your team you respect.

Sensible people would be asleep right now.

fuck gramerly ads.

My best was my first - Dr Aston. Taught me Fortran.

The 1st ever essay I wrote on programming was littered with references to "and-sign". Prof calmly pointed out its called an "ampersand".

not(rant):

Saw a gent and a lady discussing this in the underground (subway) on my way home.

def apparentlyThisIsAGoodName():

return not

Don't just think starting salary - think about your income over the course of your working life.

Your starting salary might be high - but it might mean that your ceiling after that is quite low. If you reach your ceiling too soon, you'll have to retrain to get more dough.

Retraining is starting again and might not jive very well with a partner and children in tow.

Become a columnist for the Wall Street Journal writing about the superiority of Apple products.

I know its a serious business - but there is a lot of talk re: testing (nuclear) at the moment.

It kinda puts things into perspective when we talk of programming tests. Makes me wonder how military engineers think of testing given that nuclear tests are ultimately illegal (I think) under international law.

Not using php composer because I don't know what hocus pocus that thing does.

Unapologetic injection of PHP in markup.

<input type="text" <?php check_disabled(); ?>>

As part of my engineering apprenticeship, I was sent to work on a train depot. One day, a mentor of mine called me over and said "Kid - can you go and see Mr so & so and ask him for a long weight?"

I, without thinking about it - went all the way across the depot found the gent and asked him for a long weight. He looked at me, a little bemused - and asked me if I knew what the weight looked like. I said no. He continued to inquire about this weight - it went on for a few minutes until I realised my stupidity. There is no such thing as a long weight - only a long wait.

Needless to say my mentor had a huge laugh together with his mates at my foolishness.

Sometimes things really are quite simple.

Who here has had to "update" a Mongodb instance in the last few days? No need for details.

I've never been more glad for ubuntu on Windows. Python dependencies (through babun) were fuckin' me left, right and centre.