A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

I really do understand why Ryan Dahl is working on Deno.

It's a mother fucking textarea.

Frontend & backend dev conversation

Backend Dev: what will you be working on?
Frontend dev: i will be creating a nice animated loader. You?
Backend Dev: i will be working on optimizing the backend so that no one can see your loader.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

That moment when you get an image from a designer and it is ok to use in the app first try. 🧐

Correct size, format, transparency, spacing, colors and everything.

I thought that day would never come.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on binary tree it became a linked list

I bought a System76 laptop. They're headquartered in the same city where I live. In the "special instructions" section of the checkout process, I put, "I'm buying this because Apple took away my escape key."

This note came today.

Matched with a girl on Tinder who studies Artificial Intelligence.

Me: "I see you study AI, how cool! Is it hard?"

She hasn't texted back for 3 days

What did I do wrong?

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

Go big or go home.

Finally my stickers arrived!

My first laptop stickers!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!

I think I'm addicted to devRant. Help.

Am I the only one who needs to get in the zone to program efficiently? I need to listen to some rock / metal and be in my trousers at around midnight, then I can program for 6 hours straight without standing up. I feel like I need to stand up and walk every 30 minutes at work 😅

>>Be me
>>Looks at laptop once
>>Gets 4 emails about the same fucking one

>>Be me
>>Looks at shoes once
>>Gets 3 emails and one notification from the app about a sale on shoes

>>Be me
>>Buy a mechanical keyboard
>>Gets 4 emails and 3 notifications from the app about a sale on keyboards.

Ok Amazon calm the fuck down bud.

I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]

Learning chineese !

Mood of the day

Me: Hans, Get ze Flammenwerfer!!!
Hans: Why?
Me: They use long instead of big decimal!
Hans: How do they handle the floating values then?
Me: Before sending the request they multiply by 100 and on receiving they divide by 100

Cheers from Germany :)

Met this "movie critic" a couple of days ago. Kept bashing U.S.A cinema and just telling me how bad Americans are at making movies and "captivating" audiences with "vapid plot lines and dialogues" and bla blah blah.

Dude was Indian, made evident not only by the physical appearance, thick accent as well as the fact that he would mention it every 5 seconds

I was trying to drink my beer and stay quiet without saying anything or messing with him or anything. Till he kept pushing me and asking to give him a serious argument against his claims.

Honestly I could not give two shits about what he was babling about. I am a pretty simple dude, I like action, horror, drama etc etc. I said that I did not wanted to get into the argument since I really didn't care.

"Typical American mentality! You don't care. Just about shows your brain power"

Ah man, I ain't about being disrespected like that. Was not gonna lay him out since I still wanted to keep drinking. So I said:
"This is pretty rich comming from a dude whose country graced the world with Bollywood...now you either back off or I'll show you some real Krrish shit there Patel"

I have never seen anyone turn red that way. Its pretty funny really.

I was able to keep drinking my beer in peace afterwards.

Btw no hate meant towards Indians. I do hate Bollywood movies and wish my Netflix was purged from that garbage but oh well. That is for a different moment of randomness.

You know you're in for a difficult time when the answer on stack overflow has a code area with a scrollbar.

This pain...

So i finished my first app today and i feel really good, it's not a great app or anything. But i feel good after making something and i am really happy :D

Interview : alright .. your backend experience match us perfectly. Now tell me about ur experience with JavaScript !
Me replying without thinking :
Fuck JavaScript !

Interview : 😮😦 !!
Me : 🤐😨

Interview : alright then, u are in the short list and will get back to u for your second interview.

Yes Autodesk, I am fully fucking aware of the fact that it is not made for Linux but for what reason do you feel the need to block me from downloading it?! You know, there is Wine and there are also VMs... fucking pricks

And then they even start mixing languages 👏

During code review, just review the code and not the one who wrote it.

(Q: How much are you allowed to Google as a developer?)

“You’re allowed to Google as much as you want. This is not school, you’re employed to solve a problem. Nobody cares whether you Google for the answer or remember the answer from another Googling.”

PHP is magic.

And most programmers are disbelievers of magic.

Do what you enjoy doing and you won't work a single day in your life.

During a recruitment procedure I was provided a IDE to solve some programming questions. The computer had a bunch of fuck all anti virus including avast, mcafee, it stopped every execution and scanned it for like 10sec.
McAfee fucking deleted the program for no reason giving a malicious code alert on a normal c++ program.

I called the sys Admin to inspect, guess what he did.

Fucking uninstall McAfee. Woow.

Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?

Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!

First someone: what will it do differently?

Second someone: nothing 😎