Kiki's meme of the day

do they

Choose your gender

I will never not laugh at this

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.

I’ve been crocheting … a lot.

Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?
Their ancestors are vi-kings.

Seeing posts about standards vs implementation of compilers. People not getting that "standards release" != "vendor release" for C++ compilers.

An optimist says: "the glass is half full."
A pessimist says: "the glass is half empty."
A programmer says: "the glass is twice as large as necessary."

Windows: I have updates, please pick an option:
* Update and shut down
* Update and reboot

Me: Ok, update and shut down

Windows: Updates and reboots

Is it only I who find this funny

Someone hasn't had their morning coffee...

what the fuck is this

I recently started my professional journey as a developer and I stumbled upon a very strange git repo configuration..

Background: The projects consist on a web app and a lot of backend services in C# (1 service on each project).

The project manager decided to configure the the git repo as a single repo with all of the different projects for the services and the project of the webapp. All in one. Everytime you update something the merge results absurd and this happened…

I received a ticket today that said

"The customer can access the app fine if they're at their home, but when they occasionally go to the desert they can't access the app"

You can't make this stuff up.

Someone please kill me.

You know what´s really retarded?

How HP decided to put the delete key next to the power button on their Elitebooks (and make the power button part of the top keyboard row)

Tech lead in standup 🐤

When your code finally works but you have no idea how:

Manager: THE SERVER IS DOWN THE SERVER IS DOWN!!!!

Dev: Ok I’ll look into it

*5 mins later

Dev: Wow these are really strange logs, it’s like config values are being changed all over the place while I’m looking at it

Manager: Well I figured while you were looking into it I’d go i to the server settings and change everything I could find in order to try and get the server back up again. Two sets of hands are better than one, Is it up yet???

Dev: …No.

Manager: I THOUGT YOU SAID YOU’D LOOK INTO THIS. I NEED ANSWERS NOW. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!?!?

Dev: …

Manager: So great news, we will also be building a new app this year!!

Dev: We only have 2 devs and we already struggling to maintain/build our current portfolio of applications. I don’t think we have the resources to support another.

Manager: Nonsense, this is a very small project management app that was requested by the CEO himself!

Dev: …We already have MS project, why can’t they just use that?

Manager: The executive team isn’t interested in learning MS Project, it’s way too complicated. They want us to build an internal version of MS Project one feature at a time so they can pick it up over time instead of getting overwhelmed with learning MS Project all at once. It also needs to have loads of customizable automation features so leadership doesn’t ever have to get “in the weeds” having to work with it. It needs to basically run itself!

Dev: …What about this is small?

Manager: Well that is the requirement.

Dev: …

Manager: Good news everyone, I made a big giant announcement this morning that the app upgrades will be released today!

Dev: They definitely won’t be, we need another 2 weeks minimum. I told you yesterday

Manager: Ok well I already made the announcement that today was the day so too bad for you.

Dev: Doesn’t change the state of things

Manager: 😡 This announcement is supposed to motivate you to work faster! You guys are making me look bad when you don’t support me like this!

Dev: Working as fast as we can, it’s a 2 person dev team for 4 separate applications so it’s quite a bit to get pushed through

Manager: Ok well then stay extra then, we have to get this out asap. Tell your spouses they are not going to be seeing much of you until this work is done. People are starting to ask questions!!!!!

Dev: Not my problem, it’s done when its done. I’m not staying extra.

Manager: !!

// *************

Might be blowing my cover a little but what are they going to do? Fire me? Good luck getting this out without me. They’ve tried to replace me in the past but the cheapest person they could find was 60k more expensive than me and still couldn’t keep up. Probably they’ll ship the work overseas and the code will die in a dumpster fire and cost them even more. Ah well, just another company that doesn’t deserve code.

Not my job.

no if clients replace first

Happy holidays.....unless you're a Windows PC

Truthy :)

----------------------------

Algorithm: “Choose the blueberry muffins. Or, maybe the dogs. I dunno, I need more help here.”

Definitely need some shelves...

"We are from <Company Name> and wanted to reach out to you in regards to a management level software position, we liked bla bla bla about your resumee and would like to discuss some options with you"

Me: "oh interesting! I just worked with your company last week helping one of our departments implement one of your solutions into their area"

Recruiter: "We know :D"

I am kinda wondering if this is considered poaching

My graduation project partner was strange person

Favorite IDE is VIM

Forget how to use git

But somehow she could code most of the app

I asked what does she do when mistake happens, she answered "delete and write again"

I suggest github but she is "to embarrassed to show her code on internet"

She send .zip file of her code to me

Go to univ library to copy some code because she don't believe random code on internet

Of course verson of code on book in library is too old, but she prefer fix herself

But she is overall good person, so I can graduate next month