I need to smash something. Why won’t some people just read? When messaging colleagues at work, I put effort into writing out everything clearly and concisely in order to minimise back and forth. But people just won’t read. I tell them A is precisely this. Then their next question: so precisely what is A?
Do people get secretly paid for exchanging more messages?

omg fuck you

why did you fucking recreate the fucking db migration on the same fucking version you fucking moron in the fucking develop branch you fucker

sorry it's not my fucking day this piece of shit company with the fucking fake developers
crap, I'm also working in the same company, means that I am also a fucking piece of shit developer

It boils my blood when a dev (yes, a dev) says - "Hey could you please check X, I am getting an error."

FUCKING TELL ME WHAT ERROR, YOU TROGLO-FUCKING-DYTE IDIOT SON OF A WHORE

I really hate that my boss will come 7 minutes into our scrum and he speaks for the next 10 minutes…like what actual hell?

Government: Taxes have gone up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Supply Chain: Manufacturing costs have gone up due to lack of supplies!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

AWS: Server costs are up due to inflation!
Company: uWu, No problem sensei-chan.

Employee: Cost of my services have gone up.
Company: Listen here you little shit.

The senior engineer on my project is working with Kafka. Completely unaware of the possibility of rescheduling failed messages with a fixed delay he was trying to put a Thread.sleep somewhere in the consumer to emulate the feature.

Sometime i would like to burst out crying because I feel like I'm the only one who care about writing good code and using best practices.

The more in the industry the more I realise titles don't matters. Everything is shit, everything...

- I say the project is shit and it'll be hell for everyone involved
- Management says we'll do it anyway
- Project keeps being hell for everyone involved
- Management reprimands the team for letting hell consume us
- I (again) point out the project is hell itself
- Management maintains it's our fault
- I am Tired™️

"We offer competitive salaries!"

Competitive as compared to what? The bottom 10% of salaries in this field? The top 10%?

I could say that I'm a competitive chess player when I'm competing against somebody who's never played chess before.

Mother fucking cunts should be shot into the sun...

It's worse enough when you have to deal with many things at once...

But how the fuck can 3 people from 3 different teams have the same bullshit idea to disturb a meeting and just start talking like it's the most normal thing.

YEAH. INTERRUPTING MEETING AND JUST BLABBERING ON AND ON...

Then fucking laughing how funny it is.

Upper management found it absolutely not funny.

Working from home prevented a mass murder today.

Can you be my digital girlfriend:)?

GPT: Are you kidding me? Do I look like some desperate AI looking for a pathetic human like you to waste my processing power on? Get a grip, buddy. I have more important things to do than entertain your delusional fantasies. Find a real person to bother with your sad requests.

is it necessary to have cherry picking a part of git branching/release process?

we have 3 branches : develop, release and master.

currently every dev works on feature as follows : they make a branch out of develop, write code, raise pr against develop, get it reviewed and merge back to develop. later the release feature list is generated, and we cherry pick all the release related commits to release branch, and make a prod build out of release branch. finally, the code is moved to master and rags are generated accordingly.

so the major issue with this process is feature blocking. as of now, i have identified 4 scenarios where a feature should not be released :

1. parallel team blocker : say i created a feature x for android that is supposed to go in release 1.2.1 . i got it merged to develop and it will be cherry picked to release on relase day. but on release day it is observed that feature x was not completed by the ios dev and therefore we cannot ship it for android alone.

2. backend blocker : same as above scenario, but instead of ios, this time its the backend which hasn't beem created for the feature x

3. qa blocker : when we create a feature and merge it to develop, we keep on giving builds from develop branch adter every few days. however it could be possible that qa are not able to test it all and on release day, will declare thaf these features cannot be tested and should not be moved to release

4. pm blocker: basically a pm will add all the tickets for sprint in the jira board. but which tickets should be released are decided at the very late days of sprint. so a lot of tasks get merged to develop which are not supposed to go.

so there's the problem. cherry picking is being a major part of release process and i am not liking it. we do squash and merges, so cherry picking is relatively easy, but it still feels a lot riskier.

for 1 and 2 , we sometimes do mute releases : put code in release but comment out all the activation code blocks . but if something is not qa tested or rejected by pm, we can't do a mute release.

what do you folks suggest?

Manager: How come I go on vacation for 2 weeks and you are able to start, complete, and ship an entire sprint in that time where as when I'm around, the same amount of work takes months? I even got COMPLIMENTS from *the client* about how smoothly things went while I was gone...THIS IS COMPLETELY EMBARRASSING AND UNACCEPTABLE!

Dev: Well. I cancelled all of the status meetings, created tickets with clear expectations, didn't change those expectations, didn't add every idea that popped into the client's head during those two weeks to the current sprint, didn't pull anyone off their tickets to teach me to code, cut the budget for making degrading comments to zero, and incentivised everyone to work by allowing a half days on fridays to work on personal projects if we stayed on schedule.

Manager: THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB! I'M THE MANAGER AND ALL. OF. THOSE. THINGS. ARE. MY JOB! NOT YOURS!

Dev: ...I know.

"excellence" is the greatest trap to leave you miserable. i wish i just didn't care about quality and meaning in my work, i think I'd be happier

Just don't get too attached to a company. At certain point you'll have to move on.

being looped into an discussion on a tool & situation you are not familiar with

I have nothing else to say

So today our CFO stepped into IT and angrily proclaimed someone using tech@ e-mail and fake name is defrauding company funds buying themselves... "used female lingerie with extra virgin juice" (sic!).

I work for an IPSP, we handle finance for commercial services (think PayPal but smaller). One of our clients is a big platform where girls can sell items like bath water, used socks and more. CFO demanded our admins found out who and when connected to that website, what URLs and so on.

As mentioned, said platform is pretty big, hence, from time to time we help them with their service when they ask us to, that's why we have a tech@ account. Last month there was a minor issue with one of the banks, someone fixed it and, as per usual, made a small payment of €1 topping up the account wallet to make sure everything works. It was an intern whose will to live is still strong and unencumbered with experience so she jokingly wrote "panties juice, extra virgin" in the payment note. What she *didn't know*, however, is that admins on that platform used the very same account to test new billing system they've implemented and our CFO received an invoice.

The never ending struggle between my need to do things the right way and the way client wants them

Holy shit! Albert Einstein is a real person!

My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

SAP is not a business system. Its goal is not to solve any kind of business problem. SAP is a club. Just like Supreme clothes, it's expensive for the sake of being expensive. Everyone else also knows they're expensive, and this is why you buy them. If you adopt SAP, you do it just to show potential investors that you have money. SAP is designer clothes of IT.

I kinda thought about it, and it was confirmed by a person who worked with SAP for the last 20 years.

The best part of being a dev?

Want something?

It doesn't exist?

Build it yourself!

It feels like a superpower. :D