Details
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AboutBackend developer from Hamburg. Likes php, loves symfony, and currently am learning the depths typescript. I have a passion for stable, well-tested code ... oh ... this isn't a recruiter's website, is it?
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Skillsscala, typeScript, php, docker, docker-compose, symfony3, Jenkins, bash, vim, phpstorm, Java, Python, git, GitHub, nodejs, mocha, phpunit, codeception
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LocationHamburg
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Github
Joined devRant on 11/26/2016
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Have you ever presented an idea and been told it was dumb/ it won’t work?Only to have someone else present the same idea and everyone be amazed. 😂🤷🏾♂️10
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Not a deadline but I once worked for a company that regularly asked for “accurate estimates” which I found hilariously oxymoronic7
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"I think you will be on this company for many years."
Depending on the company, this can be a compliment or a threat.4 -
I finally did it ! Bought a 10 Gbits network card.
(You can search prev rants on it. My internet connexion became almost unlimited and I felt that 2300 Mbits were bottlenecked by 2.5 Gbits card).
And yes, I have more speed now !!!!
Do I need it ? Nop.
But as long as my line stays in this "unlimited" mode, I want to use it !
3200 Mbits !!! Ping goes to 2 instead of 1 tho. With "old" 2.5 Gbits card I always had 1.
https://speedtest.net/result/c/...
Edit : Added screenshot for lazy people10 -
Worst thing in IT you can do is pretend to know what you’re doing when you don’t.
All seems harmless until that person starts resolving git conflicts….. 💣💥4 -
Well, my company hired a total amateur who can't do anything right on his own without copying code from me or the internet and I have to pretend he's helping in any capacity because otherwise I'm a "bad team player" and "should communicate more".
Helped me get over impostor syndrome, at least.7 -
When pandemic hit in 2020 I found myself out of work. Until then I used to have a java based pirate gameserver of a MMORPG as a hobby.
When pandemic hit I noticed that online players count increased from like 70 to 200 without much advertising because purely of people being stuck in home. So i decided to scale and spent 2 years with that. What a wild ride it was.
So i invested a bit in ads, managed to reach around 500 online players, opened my own company and launched a couple other successful spinoffs of that gameserver.
First year it was a goldmine but I was doing 10-14 hour days because I had to take care of everything (web, advertising, payment integrations, player support and also developing the server itself, ddos protections and etc.). I made quite a bit of money, saved for a downpayment for mortgage and got an apartment.
Second year I noticed that there was a lot of competition and online players count dropped, but I double downed on this and invested a lot into the product itself and spent most of the time developing a perfect gameserver that would be the big bang while also maintaining existing ones. Clasic overengineering mistake. As you can guess, I crashed and burned on all levels, never even managed to launch my final project because simply the scope was too big and I had trouble finding decent devs to outsource it to, since it was a very niche gameserver.
In the end I learned a lot especially about my own limits and ownership, now Im back to being a dev but working as a contractor.
I believe having actual business owner experience allows me to have different perspective and I can bring more to the table rather than focusing on crunching tasks.6 -
Dev: Why do you have an identical if statement right below this one?
Manager: Because I want the code to double check, obviously.
Dev: …19 -
Dev: Why did you suddenly start adding random whitespace to the end of all of the files in your PRs?
Manager: IT’S NOT RANDOM!
Dev: ?
Manager: That’s a way I came up with for tracking my contributions. Every time I edit a file I add a line of whitespace at the bottom so it’s clear to everyone how much and how often I’ve contributed to the team. Although I haven’t been doing it this entire time so I had to make up for this by adding more to files that I *know* I’ve touched a bunch before. Just think! Especially with how big my PRs are compared to everyone else the tally of my contributions is going to get huge!
Dev: …21 -
In pair programming session with intern. She deletes something she shouldn't have.
Me: No, wait, don't delete that, undo.
Intern: ...
Intern: What is undo? How do I do that?
Me: ...
Me: *cringes internally*
Me: Uhm.
Me: Go to Edit > Undo, or press Ctrl+Z
I think I understand what is wrong, this poor individual has extremely rudimentary computer literacy skills worse than my 77-year old stepdad's and someone in management decided to give her a Junior Software Engineering position (actually paid internship) which is doing more harm than good.17 -
Engineering manager and I have a chat last Friday about some working performant code that needs to be refactored for future reusability. Not my favorite stuff but ok, let’s do it. We talk about things VERBALLY, one way of doing it, then another way. She’s in a rush to her next meeting and has to go. I feel very clear on what she wants and how it needs to happen.
After the call I do some thinking and I give her the estimate and brief her my plan. I tell her exactly the way it’s going to be done. She says do it and gives me her sign off.
I submit my MR today. And then she says why I didn’t do it another way. A more generalized way. And “the way we talked about.”
And I ask her if she can explain her way bc there is obviously some misunderstanding. And she proceeds to zero in on some functions I wrote and say how they are not generalized enough and how it’s basically the same as what we had before (but it’s actually a much different design). I patiently listen and at some point she abruptly says she’s out of time and needs to go to a meeting. I say I still don’t understand what she wants. Then she says that she will implement it bc I still don’t understand and she has no more time to explain. I feel pretty bad.
I suggest next time she can show me on zoom whiteboard, just anything visual and not auditory to make sure things are clear and we are on the same page.
She concludes that management has directed us to come to the office more so I need to come in so we can do in person white-boarding.
This whole thing feels unnecessary. We’ve never had this issue before. It seems like either some intentional plot to get me to come into the office more often or terrible communication skills and a lack of priority on my managers part. Like can you just white board your ideas for 5 minutes?!?! There are many tools to do this digitally!
The thing is I still don’t know where the communication gap is bc I still don’t know what she wants. Keep in mind all this fuss is over three cards of text on a webpage.
This is my first job in industry. How do managers normally communicate engineering ideas? And what are the best ways over zoom? And in person?
I noticed here there is not a culture of whiteboarding or pair programming.
It’s on the days like these I question what I’m doing here…10 -
Interviewer: Do you know what Kubernetes is?
Dev: Yeah, that’s the greek god of spending money in the cloud.
Interviewer: Actually Kubernetes is an orchestration tool. Have you not been on a project that uses it yet?
Dev: …9 -
I wonder how many github issues have been closed by asking the author to implement the feature they've requested for. In the past, I was confident my issue will be resolved by opening a new one when there's no answer in earlier questions. I can't tell whether the nature of my questions advanced or whether it's a new trend. But I've opened maybe 4/5 issues in recent memory, and each time, the collaborators suggest the feature is one I should contribute to their project by implementing. Isn't this their job as maintainers? I'm already working on something that barely gives me breathing space. I encountered a challenge using your library, and your idea of helping is that I dissent from my own trajectory, acquaint with your project /how to implement what I want, wait for it to get merged etc, before continue what I originally intended. Do they think that's worth it?
Is it just me or is this a common occurrence, lately?17 -
Task estimated for 2 days
*Half day later*
🤡 : Have you done it?
Me : No, I told you it would take 2 days
*Day later*
🤡 : Have you done it? Do you need any help?3 -
Shopping for fridge with sister in law.
"Yeah that one is nice but it doesn't have an app"
"Why do you need an app for your fridge"
"I don't know, but this other fridge has an app, so I think if it doesn't have an app it's not that good"
"But it's very energy-efficient, silent and spacious. The one with the app is the same size, has a worse energy rating, is noisier and is more expensive as well"
"Yeah I know but if there's no extra features that's kind of boring"
"You are everything that's wrong with modern consumers"28 -
Worked for a friend of mine in the early 2000s. Had to implement a booking system into PHP for some private customer. This was PHP 4.something, the CMS was some alpha release of an open source project that my friend was sure was the future (it wasn't), and the specs were one A4 page of pencil scribbles that he took while talking to the customer.
Deadline was insane, nothing worked. I worked from getting up to laying down to get shit done, not being able to sleep, feeling stressed all the time. One week before roll-out I actually managed to get it running and we showed it to the customer. He was like "nope, that's not what I meant" and demanded lots of changes but accepted only one or two weeks of roll-out delay.
I did finish the job, made some good money, but then quit as soon as it was done.
This experience broke me so much that I worked in a workshop for 2 years to get away from programming as far as I possibly could.2 -
New spin on the Manager / Dev format!
Recuiter: WE NEED AN ABSOLUTE NODE EXPERT, NODE NODE NODE, WE LOVE NODE! WHAT IS YOUR NODE EXPERIENCE?!?!
Dev: Well I've had exposure to it since it was nearly new, all the way back in 2012, and since my professional career started about 7 years ago I've used it fairly often on a per-project basis.
Recruiter: WELL HAVE YOU BEEN USING IT DAILY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS!?!
Dev: Well no, as I said I've used it for specific projects... anyway, there are these things called weekends...
Recruiter: WELL WE ONLY WANT NODE ZOMBIES SO SORRY.
Dev: Thanks for reaching out and wasting my time.
Recruiter: ...
Dev: ...
God recruiters are like robots, don't they understand senior-level engineers are language agnostic?6 -
Recruiter Email: We need experience in Doker!
Dev: I could potentially be interested, what is this new technology? I've never heard of Doker!
Recruiter: It's not super new, it's the traditional Doker! You know, good ol' Doker!
Dev: Like Poker? Or Joker? 🤡
Recruiter: What?
Dev: What?9 -
LMFAO
nice one dude. i'm gonna approve this one time just to show you i'm a good boss.
....of course not.5 -
A glass of cognac, a blotter of LSD, go to the spa for a massage, turn on some Sibelius, Mahler or Tchaikovsky, and play Factorio all night.
Sometimes I also just work on my forever unfinished SciFi novel.
Or I install FL studio to realize 30 minutes later that I'm about as musically gifted as a pile of bricks.
Recently I was fed up with work and made a nice new bed for my daughter out of cherry & oak wood. Carpentry is a nice distraction from coding.4 -
Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s
Good fucking job 🤨11 -
Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server
Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?
Manager: Yes
Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?
Manager: Yes
Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket
Manager: What’s so funny?
Dev: Nothing
Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.15 -
So after school i was kinda roaming around, taking the odd paid programming job for clients, not really making any money, but also quite struggling because I was walking around with undiagnosed ADHD, for about the last 2ish years, not really making any money.
Since this February friends told me I might have ADHD, so I had it checked. Turns out I have been walking around with severe ADHD all my life :P That explained a fuckload... and now I got medication that works, yay!
Flash forward to 3 weeks ago, still not doing any work, all of sudden I get poked on linkedIn "hey we need a developer, wanna work for us?"
I wasnt really looking and since it was a message on linkedIn I figured it was just another of those overpromising recruiters, but it was very close to where I live so I decided to call them directly to check it out, expecting literally nothing, nor was I looking for work.
Roughly a week after that call I got a job as team lead backend developer...
Wait I was a total mess in the last 2 years, how did I end up as lead over an intern and 2 contracted freelancers?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?
Sofar I am enjoying it.1 -
Dev manager: Can you fix this issue?
Me: Yeah, but i cant reproduce it using the explanation given in the ticket. Can i get a step by step guide and a confirmation that the issue is reproducible.
Dev manager: you're the lead dev, you figure it out.
askdjasfkjksadjkasd!!
Do you want me to spend an hour not developing things trying to guess? because that is how you make me spend an hour not developing things6