Loool 😂 😂

So my college has Apple iMacs and this is the pain I have to go through everyday.
Why can't they just clean it at least once?

folder sizes...

This is a valid point.

why do i always feel like shit after job interviews? 😥

Good job.

Pure evil

Just bought a Microsoft Ergonomic keyboard/mouse combo, it's actually quite awesome and I'm learning how to properly type with 10 fingers!

I somehow feel conflicted though because I'm using something from microsoft :sweat_smile_

EVERYTIME!!

Client...

"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*

me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week

Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

Busted

Every js dev I know

No doubt 😂

So I wanted to send an email to Microsoft to request a feature in their new "To-Do" app.

I went to the play store and scrolled down to the end where it says "Send an email to developer".

Clicked on that. And here is the email address:

"noreply@microsoft.com"

😑 😑

dev vision test

Today I presented a client with their new website.

Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.

Today was a good day!

Project Manager: "So that's the feature we need you to add... T-shirt size?"
Me: "Depends what shop I go to, sometimes L, sometimes XL-"
Project Manager: "No, no. T-shirt size... Estimate. Small means hours, Medium means days, Large means weeks."
Me: "Oh... 4 hours."
Wtf.

Me: I mend shoes

:))))))

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

My company is like:

Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.

My classroom had this, nice inspiration
Bad UX

#mindhacks 😎

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Dear Skype,

Shit happens... but never let your shit go to far... specially while in production or drunk.

Teacher: press F5

Student: presses f then 5

Me: dies

X: Can you link my Facebook account with the website?

Me: Yes. Can.

X: Good. I want to update website using Facebook since I know how to use Facebook well.

Me: 💀