Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.

He needs a break;

When you're browsing web with firefox and accidentally opens new window instead of new tab

This is a serious bug

Bug: Windows
solved: installed Linux

Pre Install software..

My (optimistic) brain at 11:30pm right before bed: "You should totally wake up extra early tomorrow to FINALLY finish that last 5% of your side project that has taken you 10x longer to do than the first 95%!"

My (sleepy) brain at 7:00am: *Hits snooze.* "Eh, there's always tomorrow!"

Phone rings
-Hello! Do you have an a website?
- yes I have. Who's this
- is it running
- yes
- hold if otherwise it will might run away

- - hangs up - -

Phone rings again
- hello do you have a website
- no I don't 😠
- didn't I told you to hold it

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. " After a day like today, I thought my self-esteem would need this quote.

I did but still no response

"I can finally complete my side project."

How did this date format ever get past code review.

Yeah, sure! We can definitely fix that for you

When my try catch doesn't works

I was refactoring the most underneath part of our server code and just found 'getUserGender' method. I think for a second:We don't have this info. Look inside:
return name.endsWith('a')?"female":"male";

😑 it's surprising how much it works in Brazil.

hobbyte...

This is What which happens when client appreciate your efforts but your manager takes them all in his account. 😑

Dammed, I got to clean my desk...

What does @dfox say?

Non develpers often think that Java and JavaScript are related. After being forced to work with both I started agreeing. Clearly the share the podium for being some of the worst crap ever created by a computer scientist

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

Customer: I leave in a week and would like to see the site up and running!
Me: 👌🏾

Just had a talk with our backend Java guys

Our Java code is so FUCKED UP now because of frequent changes that you can easily upload it to porn sites as a gangbang video and nobody will flag it as inappropriate 😁😐

Getting wordpress website hacked every once in a while, only me or entire world?

When a subordinate doesn't have the initiative to even google what's causing the error. fuck fuck fuck

Developer tells me jenkins job is broken and to fix it.Doesn't even look at the test report. "Works fine locally." 3 failed tests.

When you spot bugs in the wild.

Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.

As a Windows user tryin' to type a simple @ in a MacBook Pro: Every time a PITA!

interviewing a guy earlier on... apparently jQuery is better because it can do things javascript can't