This is the right way to deal with GOOGLE and their ALGORITHMS. Confuse the fuck out of them.

Hmm... It's true??

Where am I?

!rant but punny

I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.

While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.

I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.

So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.

She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"

During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.

It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"

I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.

I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.

Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.

It read something like:

hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
mute
dude, mute
is that you?
MUTE!
did you just say balls?

Yes I'm a developer but come on, seriously 😒

As I mentioned in previous rants
The company that I work for is very loud and noisy, making it really hard to code.

First day in new office, bigger space in the same building....PEOPLE HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE NOISE AND LOUDNESS

FIRST. DAY.

Sorry guys, I have complained too they dont care.

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Someone is testing on production...

When you connect to a PC from a mac. I still find it amusing.

Developing my first Linux program with Mono ^_^

Yomamma... 😎

Dat ass

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

The way to resolve the issues

A deadlock a day, keeps the application away. Heard it in the office today.

I put this picture as my whatsapp profile picture to stop the countless amount of how do I fix this device questions.

Who else here gets irritated when family and friends asks you to fix their computer or printer or ask you what device they should buy

Dance like no one's watching, encrypt like everyone is.

Trying to build a mobile first application that relies on camera and geolocation data but use drupal to do it.... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS .. WTF is this shit?! ... let me nail in this screw with a banana.

Everyone here needs this word of the day :D

Baby, I hope you get better soon

When you’re really excited about your new computer

"So you do that thing with computers"
- family, nontech persons

My code!

Looking at the previous version of my code, pushes me to write a better one! All the time!

When the QA team report bugs with grammatical errors, I report back 'Can not reproduce'

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop wrote in the search box:
"Dear Google please do not behave like my wife ... allow me to complete my sentence before you start suggesting or guessing"

Fuck Visual Studio.