tesla service car is a gas powered ford

I kind of want to learn Japanese. I want to be able to watch untranslated anime and understand what they are saying.

When I need cash, sometimes I go to my clients and sell them "security updates"...

I am a one (wo)man Mafia!

I HATE this kind of popups

Manager: I can’t believe you use Linux, that is such an outdated operating system. You need to get with the times and move to a more modern one like Windows or Mac. Literally NOBODY uses Linux anymore, do you still go to Blockbuster Video too? Ha!

Dev: …

I’m starting to realize that 80% of my job is resisting the urge to punch this guy in the face. Thanks goodness for remote work.

What do program codes and churches have in common? First we build them, then we start praying on them.🙏🏻

People add you to a meeting 5 minutes before a call and then everyone expects you to answer question🥲😅

Who tf are these people who write files called things like handlers.js which are over 1000 lines long?

Reviewed the code of a dev almost twice my age and asked why they used relative imports for seemingly no reason.

Response: “because I can”

OK, then.

These little mascots are protecting my server and ensuring only the cleanest of code is written 😂

Cannot complete my work on time
Procrastinate as usual ☹

Me becoming PM from Dev

My colleague who left the company: “You either die a hero or live long to see yourself become the villain 😂”

😭😭😭😭😭😭

Me to HR lad: So yea I need you to process my resignation

HR lad to me (*silently whispering on phone*): I’ve resigned too. Good luck.

Amazon was the first company that adopted the hybrid model: working from office Monday to Friday and working from home on Saturday and Sunday.

Samsung be like...
-- 8GB ram
-- 64GB storage.

Buy phone...
Open settings...
-- 50+ system apps
-- 2gb ram left
-- 12gb storage remaining

Yeah just a normal day at work

Technobabble really bothers me… if I don’t try to overwhelm you with buzzwords and overly complex technical jargon within my industry, then afford me the same courtesy!

“Dear Manager, the reason I didn’t complete my sprint task today was that while I was nursing my fiancé’s COVID vaccine severe side effects, said fiancé’s Chinese roommate put a jar of some fermented product called “Golden Smell” in a precarious place from which I broke it, causing a veritable golden shower of glass shards and odors to permeate the workspace. If you don’t hear from me by standup, tell my mom i’m sorry."

Window 11 dev preview

- really liked the animation. It feels smooth.
- settings got rearrange like android settings and kind of make more sense than windows 10
- gaming performance is same as windows 10
- after disabling the online results in search, it's far better and speedy comapre to windows 10

I’m 42 years old and you can't imagine how complicated it has become to get a job in Latin America, they make you feel old and disposable. But I have a son to raise and I will not rest until I find a better job.

So HR invited us to a mandatory hour long talk on why rest and relaxation is important for work efficiency.

On a Saturday.

You can’t make this shit up.

Today on GitHub: this must be the new "autopilot", probably slackbot's brother, suggesting me slightly funny arbitrary repository names.

"Great repository names are short and memorable. Need inspiration? How about shiny-fiesta?"

My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.

Good thing, right?

The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.

So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.

The world is not going to space age. It's going straight to idiocracy. Sorry kids.

If I was Dumbledore I would have hid the philosopher's stone in Jira's UI

COVID-19
Why it sounds like a JIRA ticket?

boss: please look into tools that do X.

fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!

boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.

fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...

[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?

fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!

F*@#! *%*#

Manager: Oh my god have you heard of libraries? I don’t even need to hire developers anymore, everything can just be done with code other people have already built for free

Dev: Well you actually cause a bit of technical debt when you use an abstrac—

Manager: EVERY TICKET SHOULD BE DONE USING LIBRARIES GOING FORWARD.

Dev: …This is going to implode…Can we at least fund some of the libraries we end up using?

Manager: WHAT? NO! Open source developers are suckers, what idiot puts code on the internet for free?? I shouldn’t be required to fund their stupidity. Let’s just take their stuff and make money with it.

Dev: *Phone rings 100th time today from recruiter*. One sec I have to take this call……It’s urgent.

Sometimes, usually during the evening, I lower the lights in the living room, put some of my greatest Scotch in a glass, and stare at this fine and beautiful piece of code I wrote a long time ago that I am really proud of.