This girl from financial department pissed me off so badly I took 15 minutes of my private time to slightly modify CSS and JS for her user in our intranet panel, made everything pink and blue, animate all the buttons to randomly barrel roll and made the mouse cursor explode colourful star particles with each click.

She *liked* it, said it was *sweet* and *apologized* for being an ass. Robbed me of all the satisfaction. :(

GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!

I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!

All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"

AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!

Do I have the best wife or what!

-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --

Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.

Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.

Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.

Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?

Me: Only temporarily

Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?

Every time I have to Google a method/function, that I know I have already looked up and used a million times previously.

Did you say security?

Take a break folks,
From work,
From code,
From tension,
From bugs,

Take a car, drive to the country side, breathe the fresh air, ride horses,
Have a meal, stay for a day or two, without internet, and then Be back to work.

This is what we all need now :D

Want to see the Most incompetent co-worker?

My mind : See yourself in the mirror :(

lol #fakenumber

Just realized I left a console.log in production code at my old job

Using hackerrank to compile codes when in Windows!! :P

Class: And this is how you do a Hello World program in C.

Exam: Explain where this pointer of a pointer of a pointer of a pointer is pointing

I will be working from home tomorrow.

*Today*

I am at office because fuck me! I forgot my laptop charger here.

Made sure I was alone and farted, two second later my boss walks over to my chair and sits down to show me a problem with the website...

I felt so uncomfortable

"what about a messaging app, that has all the features of skype, whatsapp, viber, hangouts, fb messenger & co - everybody would use it over the others"

Making graphics is probably the most painful part of indie game development... :(

Coworker called me up and shouted at me for refactoring code. "It might break!".

But his copy paste addiction is sure to make everything more stable, right?

Course, he still hasn't figured out that I'm the tech lead, so I will completely ignore his useless whining, as I have his boss on board.

For nearly 2 years I've been referring to Jetbrains 'Darcula' as Dracula.

About to give my first presentation on web development! Wish me luck, I've never felt more out of my league, even though I've been a dev for years.

We've all seen bad code in our time. The code I'm currently looking at needs to die horribly in a fire. In fact, that doesn't even seem extreme enough for this monstrosity

Do you ever have days where you get absolutely nothing done, because of a local environment problem. My xdebug would break on break points but once you stepped to the next breakpoint it would halt execution of the code... It worked fine yesterday!!!!! Arghhh

Recruiter:
I have an excellent opportunity for you! You're experience is exactly what my client is looking for.

Me: (Just got laid off a week's go) Awesome! Send me the details.

Recruiter: here they are
10+ years experience with Java, Spring frameworks...

My thoughts: Hmm I only worked with java for two years 3 years ago. Since it's been full-stack JavaScript. Total of 5 years in industry...

Me: Nah, doesn't look like my type of position... Thanks though

Recruiter: Just go interview and try it out.
<Proceeds to blow up my phone several times a day for a few days>

To Recruiters: Know when to stop. Also, read my LinkedIn profile. Where it says, looking for full-stack JavaScript opportunities.

look microsoft edge, you're just not my type but I'm sure you'll find someone out there..

if (boolValue == true) ...
I know it works, but just kill me now.

I really truly want to run my own dev blog, but every time I write an article, I feel that it's too dumb and useless because I already know the thing I wrote. I know it's absurd, yet I can't fight my own anxiety about it.

any one for group hug? feeling low and hiding under the table :(

Most productive morning in months.. realized both my email client and slack were closed

My brain hurts!

The simplicity of Python still amazes me even after 3 years of development.

Recently started using Flask!
One word WOW.

So... Stress balls aren't intended to be thrown at your colleagues. Interesting.

Best comment I've ever found:

Input: 4 TOTALLY USELESS STRINGS

They really were totally useless.