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LocationBelgium
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Joined devRant on 1/4/2018
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A group of wolves is called a pack.
A group of crows is called a murder.
A group of developers is called a merge conflict.28 -
External company HR: We are sorry to hear you've decided to turn down our offer. You made a great impression and we thought you'd be a good fit. If you change your mind please let us know.
Me: I too am sorry you didn't tell me you were moving to the other-side of the county in two weeks, making it impossible for me to travel to and from work. I too have feelings about having done all the interviews and this being the end result. Thank you8 -
Well here's how I see things going:
Intel and AMD ditch their assembly architectures for Scratch, because drag and drop is very popular lately.
The Boolean is renamed to the biggot by SJW leaders for only supporting binary views.
You must first ask consent to add an item to a linked list, because forcing two items together promotes rape culture.
Apple removes the "h" and "7" keys on all laptop models and gives no reason for their actions.
Linus Torvalds grows an extra middle finger, and it still isn't enough.
Nintendo makes Mario gay and Luigi black to be more inclusive.
LG makes a curved monitor that curves away from you rather than towards you. People buy it in confusion.
Everyone makes the same ad revenue on YouTube, and it is rebranded to OurTube. Luckily, they were able to keep the color scheme.
People finally realize that machine learning is just math, and stop using it everywhere. (Just kidding lol)
AMD and Gucci merge. Nobody understands why.22 -
Took me awhile, and 3 reinstalls but I finally got my second hard drive on Linux, Kubuntu with most of the things I use to code here and zsh on powerlevel9k. Yey!8
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Today was my last day of work, tomorrow i have officially left that place. It's a weird feeling because i'm not certain about the future.
The job was certainly not bad, and after all i read on devrant i'm beginning to believe it was one of the better ones. A nice boss, always something to eat/drink nearby, a relaxed atmosphere, a tolerance for my occasionally odd behaviour and the chance to suggest frameworks. Why i would leave that place, you ask? Because of the thing not on the list, the code, that is the thing i work with all the time.
Most of the time i only had to make things work, testing/refactoring/etc. was cut because we had other things to do. You could argue that we had more time if we did refactor, and i suggested that, but the decision to do so was delayed because we didn't have enough time.
The first project i had to work on had around 100 files with nearly the same code, everything copy-pasted and changed slightly. Half of the files used format a and the other half used the newer format b. B used a function that concatenated strings to produce html. I made some suggestions on how to change this, but they got denied because they would take up too much time. Aat that point i started to understand the position my boss was in and how i had to word things in order to get my point across. This project never got changed and holds hundreds of sql- and xss-injection-vulnerabilities and misses access control up to today. But at least the new project is better, it's tomcat and hibernate on the backend and react in the frontend, communicating via rest. It took a few years to get there, but we made it.
To get back to code quality, it's not there. Some projects had 1000 LOC files that were only touched to add features, we wrote horrible hacks to work with the reactabular-module and duplicate code everywhere. I already ranted about my boss' use of ctrl-c&v and i think it is the biggest threat to code quality. That and the juniors who worked on a real project for the first time. And the fact that i was the only one who really knew git. At some point i had enough of working on those projects and quit.
I don't have much experience, but i'm certain my next job has a better workflow and i hope i don't have to fix that much bugs anymore.
In the end my experience was mostly positive though. I had nice coworkers, was often free to do things my way, got really into linux, all in all a good workplace if there wasn't work.
Now they dont have their js-expert anymore, with that i'm excited to see how the new project evolves. It's still a weird thing to know you won't go back to a place you've been for several years. But i still have my backdoor, but maybe not. :P16 -
Well that was a fun call I just had.
Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.
Me: What?
Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.
Me: What?! Why????
Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.
Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.
Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.
Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.
Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?
Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.28 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
Tried to install an existing web dev project in Windows 10:
- Install Atom IDE and trying to clone git repo
- Git missing, installing Git for Windows
- Installing Node (so far so good!)
- npm install
- Python missing (???), installing Python
- Ruby (????????) missing, installing Ruby
- .NET Libraries missing, installing .NET 4.0 for the 100th time
- Visual Studio Libraries for C++ 2008 missing (now you're just messing with me mate), installing 4GB of Visual Studio Libraries
- [drumroll sound]
- .....
- npm install breaks with fatal error
- Git for Windows can't be found anymore
Switched to Ubuntu out of frustration:
- Installing Atom IDE
- Installing NodeJS
- Cloning git repo
- npm install
- project is running
whut?44 -
That makes a lot of sense!
I mean, I did come to the United States to study in a grad school exactly because I could see this slide. -
Story from back in college..
It was the golden days of Flash Facebook applications. I have developed a very simple Rubik's cube solver in Acton Script 3. I was testing it out at the back seat of the class during the first day of Advanced OOP in Java module.
Our lecturer was going on and on about how awesome Java was and what all you can do with it. After a while he said "do you know this thing called Rubik's cube?" **explains what it is for a while** "Some people have even made software to solve Rubik's cube with Java. Can you make something like that?"
I was like "you mean like this one?" Pointing to the app on my laptop.1 -
So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.
At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.
Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.
Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.
So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.
Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.
Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?
I look to my left.
Fuck my life...
My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........2 -
Why do some sites have the current year for birth dates? Is the person fresh out the womb registering for Facebook?8
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We've password protected a file and forgot the password we need it cracking asap.
Sorry we can't crack passwords on files.
If we don't get access to the file it'll cost the company up to 250k.
Well you should've thought about that before encrypting the fucking file with 256 bit encryption.8 -
Dear self proclaimed wordpress 'developers/programmers', kindly go fuck yourself.
I'm not talking about wordpress devs/designers who don't claim to have a better skillset than they have and are actually willing to learn, those are very much fine.
I'm talking about those wordpress people who claim that they're developers, programmers or whatever kind of bullshit which they're obviously not.
"A client's site crashed, you have to fix it!!!!!" sorry, come again? It's YOUR client's site. It's hosted on our hosting platform meaning that WE are responsible for KEEPING THE SERVERS UP AND FUNCTIONING.
You call yourself a wordpress 'developer' with 'programming experience' for 10 years but the second one of your shitty sites crashes, you come to us because 'it's your responsibility!!!'.
No, it's not. Next to that fact, the fact that you have to ask US why the site is crashing while you could easily login to your control panel, go to the fucking error logs and see that one of your facebook plugins crashes with a quite English error message, shows me that you definitely don't have 10 years of programming experience. And if you can't find that fucking article which tells you exactly where the motherfucking error logs are, don't come crying to us asking to fix your own fucking bullshit.
"My clients site got hacked, you have to clean it up and get it online again ASAP!!!!" - Nah, sorry, not my responsibility. The fact that you explicitly put your wordpress installation on 'no automatic updates' also doesn't help with my urge to fucking end you right now.
Add to that that we have some quite clear articles on wordpress security which you appearantly found too difficult (really? basic shit like 'set a strong fucking password' is too difficult for you?), you're on your own.
"I'm getting an error, please explain what's going wrong as soon as you can! this is a prio 1!!!!" - Nope. You were a wordpress dev/programmer right? Please act like one.
I'm not your personal wordpress agent.
I'm not your personal hacked wordpress site cleanup guy.
I'm not even a fucking wordpress professional. No, I'd rather jump off a bridge than develop wordpress bullshit for a living.
That you chose to do this, not a problem. Just don't rely on me for fixing your shit.
I'm sick of cleaning up your bullshit.
I'm done with answering your high prio tickets about bullshit which any dev could find out with just a few minutes of searching.
Oh your wordpress site isn't showing up so high in google? Yeah sure, shoot a ticket at us blaming us for your own SEO mess. I'm a fucking sysadmin, not a SEO expert.
I'm fucking done with you.
Go die in a fucking corner.18