Sr. Management gives talk about leadership. What he/she doesn't understand is that leadership is like Fight Club.

The first rule of leadership is that you do not talk about leadership.

The second rule of leadership is that you DO NOT talk about leadership!

If a colleague went to a conference and checked their laptop with their luggage, you would think it would get stolen. Nope, it came back like this. It worked out really well for them, they got a new laptop and we all got a good laugh out of it.

Most used book on the shelf. This is some scary shit.

How do you get your employer to make logging a priority? Wait for a lawsuit to happen.

@dfox feature request: anyway to get a filter that just shows images?

A client once asked us to quote rewriting one of their back office applications. He later came back and told us our rates were too high. He was going to look for someone one cheaper but wanted us to manage the development since he valued our opinion.

one of those days

5 years ago, I spent two days in a conference room championing a service oriented architecture, which we had started down the path a year before. The other guy wanted to undo what was done and take the monolith approach. Not making any progress, I walked away and decided to let him have his way. A year later I left the position and quit programming. That whole experience played a major role in the decision to just give it up.

Yep, this stuff exists.

My thoughts "DevOps" in case anyone is interested...

https://reddit.com/r/devops/...

PHB wanted access to our team chat room where we do standup, among other things. Access granted. Immediately a new chat room was created.

True story.

DBA asks for stage DB user's password. Uses it for production DB.

Works fine in dev, ops problem now.

results << entry.format_results if !Rails.env.production?

Run away from me now motherfucker.

Can't commit working code, proceeds to tell me how to architect infrastructure.

one of those days

Release build fails. Bad test was commented out on development branch but merged into release branch.

Developer tells me jenkins job is broken and to fix it.Doesn't even look at the test report. "Works fine locally." 3 failed tests.

PHB stops by "to ask a quick question." EVIDENTLY I'M NOT BUSY NOR AM I EVER BUSY FOR QUICK QUESTIONS. Launches into HOUR LONG conversation.

PHB FTW

Someone you know hears that you're good with computers. Asks to help with their Windows issue. Proceeds to tell you they don't know how you're employed since you don't know anything about Windows.

PHB thinks DevOps is job function. "This is the guy" that does DevOps in our organization.

PHB heeds my advice to hire another person. PHB thinks it needs to be filled immediately and starts talking to TEKsystems.

Colleague spends most of his day googling how to do something. Doesn't understand why his sh*t doesn't work, since search results are out of context. Doesn't ever RTFM.

Colleague asks for help setting up deployment job. Tells me he has tried everything. Has no less than 5 typos.

Project manager asks why server is down. Reminded him that his team lead told me three months ago it was no longer needed.

Loathes ruby. Loves Java. Forced to write ruby. Writes ruby like Java.