Incompetent may not be the right word, but a Linux system admin who had never heard of Ubuntu.

Client: Hi there, we worked together I few months ago and loved what you created for us! We have another job and would like to see if you are available?

Me (1h later): Sure! Let me know more details about this new project.

Client (15min later): Oh, sorry, since you took so long to respond, we've decided to choose another freelancer. Thank you anyways!!

Me: ...

Could you put a backdoor on the software so i can see what my employees are doing ? Don't worry I'll pay you more.

Yeahhhh buddy I'm out, give me my card back.

What the fuck im going back to my open source safespace.

O, really; best solution ever!

Me:To my new boss I think its fare we adopt version control for the project we working on.
Boss: No need just do what we hired you for.
Me:Its my second day of work and don't know how this will play out

Am beginning to dislike this boss he still sticks to old practices

Dream jobs: Developer, Rockstar.
Jobs I'll never dream of doing: rockstar developer

Got married yesterday and am now on a call for the same problem that occurred over Christmas...

I need a new job...

I've just started to look into KDE's features.

I'm in love 😍

Fuck you CNET!

Their app auto plays video ads WITH VOLUME even when THE PHONE IS FUCKING MUTED!!!!!!!

Hold your tears boi

I like how us developers see other people as "Humans"

Man I wish we could have here some kind of poll - you know to ask a question and see what people think.
It will be kinda awesome
think about it guys

Seriously, need to learn git 🤔

Mine and @CozyPlanes hobby, it really helps you take your mind off programming and it's "quirks" hehe

- what's your idea of "the perfect date" ?
- me : YYYYMMDD

So the devDucks arrived today and the dog is more excited than I am. He's been staring at the box the whole time.

Was fixing my project for college the whole night... when I finished it was around 07:30, the sun was rising, a steaming mug of coffee in front of me and I was like “That’s why I love this shit so much”

Idea: if I want to be successful, I need to have good habits, because I am in autopilot mode 95% of my lifetime.

If I can't buy u a drink, atleast let me fix your laptop.
#geeksPickUpLine
😂😂

MATLAB Users,
Fuck you, array starts from 0

@College(!)
Teacher comes in
„Today I‘m going to introduce you to Java“
He opened WebStorm
Everybody was like WTF

Productivity level 10000...

- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"

😑 are you kidding me..

Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.

My Dev environment today.

*Me Calling the NSA..

[NSA]: Hello, how can I help you !
[ME]: Hello, this is the NSA right?
[NSA]: Yes
[ME]: Since you are recording all phone calls, I have a little request.
[NSA]: And What is that?
[ME]: My mom called me couple hours ago to bring something from the supermarket, her phone is off.. What did she told me to bring?
[NSA]: beep..beep..beep

Met a guy in the gym, he asked me to make him an online shop for supplements.
I quickly made a reactive, angular based shop with an admin page.
He paid, I put my name as the creator, it was all good...

...then he removed all legal products and added tons of anabolic steroids for horses in little jars (yes, he even added pro level photos).

I received a call from the police and had to prove that I don't manage his content.