"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

!rant

Boss: I need to talk to you.
Me: Something wrong?
Boss: No, just need to talk.
(Not sure what to think)

Meet with boss, first thing he does is shake my hand and proceeds to tell me thank you for all the work you or in on the last project. On tomorrow in addition to your paycheck $1K after taxes will be deposited into your account.

#feeling very appreciated

A few months ago: "please lock down the app so clients can't upload new images once an order is in progress"

This morning: "why can't the client attach more images when they ask to revise an order?"

When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...

Our software department is the only department where swearing in loud voices is allowed .

Says a lot about our department :D

Great day! Resigned my job, signed my new job AND the stickers arrived! Thanks a bunch for making my day even greater than it was :) @dfox

I've just taken over what seemed like a simple PHP project, but under the hood, I've discovered that it contains 132 CSS and 719 JS files.

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict. :|

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S UNDEFINED. IT'S RIGHT THERE.

Almost 3 years ago I contacted an IT company that was looking for developers. The job listing was vague at best but it was a 10 man company with huge international clients for content migration and improvement.

I had basically no prior development experience but got invited to the interview regardless. I took a test in Java, first time I had seen the language but I finished it with some help from Google. At the time I was still a student so I couldn't work full time either.

Disregarding all that, the team lead advised the CEO to hire me regardless, so he did.

Forward to today.

I still proudly work for this company and have been responsible for a complete redesign of their flagship product. I learned a great deal about software development and developed an amazing relationship with most of the employees. The company has quadrupled in size since and we are moving to a bigger office start of next year.

Sometimes life gives you gold, not lemons.

watched a client use IE, all the while they didn't use tabs or even a new window, every time we had to go back to a previous site they had to Google the URL then click the search link

Guess who refused the the request to return at work after being fired unfairly? After months they understood they're wrong and they need me or just they noticed that no one wants to work in those conditions?

true....

I swear upon the gods of the internet! Any time I am trying to read an article/blog post/anything and the site puts a god damn pop-up form asking me to sign up for something, I leave the site. ESPECIALLY ON MOBILE WHEN YOU CANT CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR INFO.

And every time a client asks me to do this I nicely explain how much people hate pop-ups, 99% of the time I've closed the window or tab before I even read what the box is asking for, I don't care.

If the user is trying to read something, then they are trying to read something, and they don't want to be bothered with your ridiculous attempts for information gathering so you can spam them later.

Had a bug that I just couldn't figure out. How did I solve it? Had to think like a user. Just started clicking options over and over. Not giving it time. Found my issue.

That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.

Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.

😎✌️

My friend works in retail I.T, they clients said the computers were a bit dusty from the stores.

i can feel the asthma attack coming.

Check out this relic I just found in my old messenger bag...

Does anyone else save their work almost after every change that when you switch to a web browser you hit Ctrl + S to save? XP

Can't decide if I'm nostalgic or a hoarder.

Apparently I'm old, regardless.

I've put super glue instead of thermal paste on my cpu yesterday when I was drunk... fml....

An old client reappeared the other day wanting his Flash website updated to HTML5. He didn't want to pay because "It is exactly the same, just needs to work on tablets.".

SharePoint: Designer is discontinued but they haven't released an alternative method of creating custom workflows...
Also, SharePoint only shows correlation ids, which you'd have to check the logs to see what the error was (no description or error code for user): SharePoint Online doesn't split their logs by client... so they can't give clients access to the logs even if they wanted too. Only option is to contact their support... seems overkill when the error may be a user trying to upload a document with the same name.

Client: After two weeks of silence. "Are we ready to launch?"

Me: "Yeah, sure!" Forgetting there's a half-finished refactor from two weeks ago.

*spends an hour cowboy coding php in Plesk editor before IT guy updates DNS*

Last year we were given an app to patch that was completely in Arabic (including the documentation). We had a tight deadline to get the app fixed so we paid for a big company to translate the Word document we'd be given.

After 2 weeks we were given the translated documentation only to find it was select recipes from an Egyptian cooking book.

First laugh then comment 😂😂😂

Just been asked to test the website in Netscape. Today will not be a good day.

I bet Darth Vader only cares about the UI

Got an [IMPORTANT] email today from <some third party company> saying they discovered a problem with their software and were working on it with high prority. Problem description made my day: "<some third party company> would like to inform you that offline users using iPad may not be able to synch due to technical reasons". - wait what?!