Programmer move

Avast. :/

Microsoft is investing in Git, VSCode, Electron, Github, Bash-on-Windows. Things that decentralize and help prevent lock-in.
Apple is taking away the only universal cross platform graphics system (OpenGL), locking developers into Metal, and taking away our escape keys.

this. is. very. common.

It all makes sense now...

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

Masturbation

when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

#mindhacks 😎

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

men==women returns false

That's the exact question that came to me 2 years back when I was also going to go to sleep early tonight

1969 vs 2017

I got 99 problems but encoding ain’t one

Best joke I have read this week...

Our website doesn't look the same on phone and desktop.

Please remove responsivness.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠙⠉⠙⠷⢻⣴⣤⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠠⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠺⣻⣢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠈⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠗⠆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠉⠀⠀⠉⠑⢢ ⠀⢀⠤⠤⢌⡮⣐⠤⠤⡤⠔⢹⠀⠀⠀⠴⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡜⡐⠈⠉⠗⣌⠀⢠⠊⢀⠄⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜ ⢃⢇⠀⠀⠀⠒⡓⡪⣈⣀⣀⠀⠑⠠⠉⠉⠉ ⠈⢊⢖⡄⡀⠀⠀⠁⢉⣒⣑⠊⠛⠒⠤⡰⡀ ⠀⠀⠁⠓⠫⢥⢲⡀⡈⠙⢿⣷⣆⠀⠀⡁⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠋⠬⠎⠿⠿⠤⢐⠕⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉

I turned myself into a rant Morty, I'm rant Rick!

Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:

1) I love Java more than any other programming language.

2) I love sleeping more than working.

3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.

4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.

5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.

6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.

7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.

8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.

9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.

10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.

Post yours.

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

One month until I travel to China again.
Things left to pack: VPN

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

Just me, explaining how my code works.

- We need a „Save Session“ - Button in the Navbar.

- No problem

- ... and the icon should be a thumbs up!

Yeah... uuuh... Makes perfect sense... 🙃

Q: How long did the loop take?

A: For a while

In my second year,
I told my teacher I can code in in C#(c-sharp).

She replied : C-sharp ? Oh you mean C-hash !

*that day I lost hope in college*

How to hack:
1: Open commandline
2: color 2
3: cd c:/
4: tree
...
5: Profit

So I was playing Formula 1 game and I heard “push, push, push” from the engineer while leaving pit-lane.

I immediately closed game and started “git push”

CTO: "You must write good tests with high coverage, ideally use TDD. We need confidence in our releases."
Also CTO: *Secretly commits code changes directly to master at 3am, breaks tests, skips CI, publishes, tells no-one*

> Google Drive Version Control best Version Control