Details
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AboutDeveloper, passionate about linking every tech thing together.
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SkillsC#, java, c++, rpi, arduino, machine learning, openframeworks, PaaS, OO,linux
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LocationBrazil
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Github
Joined devRant on 9/6/2017
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Why am I able to write a quick search algorithm in JavaScript but am not able to talk to girls?
Shouldn't the second one be easier than the first one?
Shouldn't every human being be able to do the first one?298 -
My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...
1. What is GitHub?
2. What is JSON?
3. What’s an array?
4. What is Get and what is Post?
5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?
6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.
7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.
8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?
9. What does NULL mean?
Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.
Fakin shyt for brains.180 -
We've built a web app and now a client wants a VPN acces to the database of web app. When asked why, they said they want to occasionally pull some data out. 😱
We said no, and this is what they wrote:
"We’ve got live VPN access to every other web database we work with – why is this different?"
Well because maybe we know that we can build you an export of whatever you want, prepare you API calls for getting data to your CRM, but hell I'm not giving you access to the production DB.5 -
Documentation is like sex.
When it's good, it's very good.
When it's bad, it's better than nothing.23 -
How to waste 7 hours of your time:
1.) Install Visual Studio 2017
2.) Install extensions for it
3.) Wait for it to destroy itself with updates
4.) Reinstall everything11 -
I forgot to claim my free stress ball, but then the ++ required were increased so here's a rant about exiting vim:wq
ESC
recording @q
:wq
^C ^C
:q
:Wq
:wq
Wait, shit, I made a typo!
$ nano file.py4 -
Every computer needs a “cleaning keyboard” mode where the keys would be inactive while you wipe them down16
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Made a telegram channel for people who want a regular programming challenge.
Im not a god of programming myself, but atleast its gonna be fun conversing with people about the challenges in the separate group...
LINK: https://t.me/prograchallenges11 -
I send a PR to your GitHub repo.
You close it without a word.
I tell you that your lib crashes because you're trying to parse JavaScript with a (bad) regex, but you keep insisting that no, there exist no problem, and even if you barely know what "parsing" means, you keep denying in front of the evidence.
Well fuck you and your shitty project. I'll keep using my fucking fork.
And if you're reading this, well, fuck you twice. Moron.10 -
I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..
How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!
Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???
It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???
I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!
Stupid front-end shit..23 -
Professor at Uni: "Missing a semicolon on yozr final exam could be a reason to fail that exam. Coding on paper is much better because that is what you will be doing on the job. "
Hate those written Java exams on paper.18 -
I know this is utopic, but I've been thinking for a while now about starting an open source platform for figuring out the problems of our society and finding real world, applicable, open source solutions for them.
To give you some more details, the platform should have two interfaces:
- one for people involved in researching, compiling issues into smaller, concrete chunks that can be tackled in the real world, discuss and try to find workable solutions for the issues and so on
- one for the general public to search through the database of issues, become aware of the problems and follow progress on the issues that people started working on
Of course, anyone can join the platform, both as an observer (and have the ability to follow issues they find interesting) and/or contributor (and actually work with the community to make the world a better place in any way they can).
Each area of expertise would have some people that will manage the smaller communities that would build around issues, much like people already do in the open source community, managing teams to focus on the important thins for each issue. (I haven't found a solution for big egos getting in the way yet, but it would be nice if the people involved would focus on fixing stuff in stead of debating about tabs vs spaces, if you know what I mean).
The goal of this project would be to bring together as many people from all kind of fields to actually try to fix this broken society.
It would be even better if it attracted people with money and access to resources (one example off the top of my head being people like Elon Musk) that could help implement the solutions proposed by the community without expecting to gain profit off of it (profit is also acceptable if it is made in a considerate, fair and helpful way, but would not be promoted on the platform).
The whole thing would be voluntary work; no salary, no other commitment than the personal pledge that once someone chooses to tackle something, he/she will also see it trough (or at least do his/her best).
The platform would be something like a mix of real time communication, issue tracker, project management tool and publishing platform.
I don't yet have all the details for how it should all fit together, but if there is something that I would like to start, this is definitely it!
PS: I don't think I can ever do something like this by myself, and I don't really have the time to manage a community of developers to start work on it right now. But if you guys think something like this is something worth your time, I will make time and at least start on defining the architecture and try to turn this into a real project.
If enough people are interested, I will drop any other side projects and do my best to get this into the world!
Thank you for reading :)6 -
Colleague: "Python is slow..too much slow."
Then I look at the code:
Eight nested for loops, inside two of them, two function calls and three list comprehension. That function has 2 nested loops and two "objects.all()" Django method, plus a list comprehension too..
Yep, Python is slow.20 -
> Comments are there only for you, please delete them before pushing your code.
I want to kill everyone who suggests that, slaughter them like animals!14