Interview went well until i asked my questions about them.

"Are pet-projects a thing in your company"
... no.

"Can i attend programming gigs in a workweek, and are they paid by the company"
... no, no

"Any restrictions on the IDE"
... yes we only allow visual studio
"Wait, frontend web development in vs?"
... yes

"Do you develop in other languages then JavaScript"
... only Java

I calmly stood up, told them "I dont think that the company and I are a good fit. Thanks for your time."

My most successful project? The next one.

If that doesn't happen, read this again.

.titanic {
float: none;
}

We just spent 30 minutes standing around watching Elon Musk launch his car into orbit.

I love working in IT.

32, 34, 38, 46, 62, 94 and so on.

My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.

Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?

GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.

Interviewer: Does it use internet?

GF: Yes.

Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.

GF: 😯

I want a TV program like "Kitchen Nightmares" but with IT companies.
And with Linus Torvalds in place of Gordon Ramsey

Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.

Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.

*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*

Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?

Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.

Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.

He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.

Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.

After an hour of debugging, realised that I wrote =+ instead of +=.

I will just to go in a corner and cry for a minute. brb guys.

Normal person: send nudes
Dev: send stickers

How to make sure your users appreciate your work

Be kind always.

When you're just trying to be helpful and contribute to the # Linux kernel

Teacher: what is 1 + 1?

kid : I don't know

Teacher: Ok! you have one man and one women, how many are there?

Kid: Three.

Teacher: how?

Kid: There was my mom and dad, when they add up we become three.

Teacher: %(;:)--,^$

Just the right size.

Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.

When you discover that new CSS animation and want to use it everywhere

My morning:

Me: Why did you just delete the failing unit tests?

Intern: I debugged it for a while and found one of the other developers broke it with his recent changes. I couldn't fix it.

Me: Did you let him know he broke it?

Intern: No.

Me: So you just deleted it and decided to pretend the feature isn't broken?

Intern: ... No ... I mean ... well you told us yesterday we needed to have all the tests passing.

(I NEED a stress ball people)

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

I had no idea that he had his own SDK!

hackers are there in every form

I really appreciate devs that aren't complete assholes when you admit ignorance and embrace failure. Be a teacher, not an asshole!

`git push origin master --force`

- Boss server is down
- Can you reboot it?
- Oh well... how can i explain you...

Tabs > Spaces

When you wear headphones without playing any music, and avoid anyone's line of sight to get work done

Shouldn't it be ++ instead of +1? :D

Don't want devRant to become stack overflow but...

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