Stackoverflow.

At job interview.

Interviewer: What are your goals in life?

Me: Well... Right now... Getting 1000 upvotes in devRant so I can get that fat cat on my avatar....

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

I literally laughed out loud

I was reading an article and stombled at this note:

when demonstrating arrays, always call them ‘arr’ – it allows you to talk like a pirate

CSS can kill you!

General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

Anyone noticed that by doing two tap on a rant you upvote it, nice Instagram touch

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

W...w...wha...whaaat?!

I have actually been asked this before!

This was taken a while ago...

Client: I told you to change the color of this word! It changes every time I go back to this page. *refers to a hyperlink*
Me: oh okay.

How hard would it be to...?

I was in college studying stuff I couldn't care less about and had a job that was consuming me. A couple of colleagues and I then decided to open our own company. Four years of sleepless nights later, all colleagues left. I had lost touch with family and friends, had lost a girlfriend and had been left with all the company's debt to pay. Going back to my old career seemed like the only option, but I couldn't let me sabotage myself again. I sat my butt in front of my sister's computer and downloaded every coding class I could get my hands on. Getting used to sleep deprivation helped. Eventually I built my first app and landed my first freelance job. All hat in hand, I told this company I didn't have much experience and they told me they'd hire a senior developer as well. It was on a Sunday morning, at 4am, with the deadline breathing down our necks, that the senior developer had jumped ship and the company asked me if I could take over the project. That moment I realised it's all about being competent. That moment I knew I could do this.

That moment when you've been trying to fix a bug for hours then suddenly realize you've fixed it hours ago but just didn't clear the cache

Or that...

Windows 10
Disclaimer: No bugs were harmed in the production of this OS.

Epic Answer ever.... Laughed to the core...

I do repent this one
Using an IDE

@dfox & @trogus
Just finished reading your app update and I must say that I'm very impressed with the number of changes that have come out in the past six or so weeks. Good job guys and keep up the good work!

PS an autocomplete '@' mention feature would be really helpful.

Best weather for coding :)

time for mr robot part 2

I'm so confident

Do you ever spend hours helping someone with a programming problem, trying to teach them and develop their skills, but at the back of you mind you're thinking, "no amount of help is going to save you from being a fucking cretin"?

Battery testing new app at work. Boss wants us to test Pokemon Go for comparison. I get to leave the office for 2 hours to catch Pokemon and get paid...

Google: "Please prove you're a human."
Me: "Hello Google, I'm human!"
Google: "Prove you're a human..."
Me: *Stabbing my finger and dripping blood on the computer*
Google "Prove you're a human!!"
Me: *Crying, laughing, expressing feelings*
Google: "Prove you're a human I said!!!"
Me: "4527"
Google:" Thank you."

Now I understand!

Speed Dating

dfox is like our virtual mom. Even if no one likes our rants he will always like it 😃

So I barely get home and I see my 10 year old sister in the living room coding with the Xcode Playground, I asked her where she learned how to do that and she said "I just read the books you had." I'm so proud. 😭🤘🏼