@whimsical If I told you that, then I suspect ddos would very much be my problem.

@Lensflare Watery hole.

Arguably reliable high-speed internet infrastructure was largely created in response to demand for porn. Without that, cloud computing wouldn't have been a thing. GPUs were created in response to people playing games.

So the mother of most of the major inventions in tech, at least indirectly, was a fat hermit playing quake in between furtive bouts of onanism.

The greater fool hypothesis.

Your mum is rumoured to offer endless replay value, but each session is basically the same as the last.

You do at least get to compete against friends though.

I put too much water in my pot noodle at lunchtime.

@Lensflare That's in American English. They changed a lot of things just to break our balls.

As a wise man once said: "I'm not clever enough to do functional programming and neither are you."

There's a "rusty trombone" joke here somewhere.

@travelistul0000 piss flaps.

🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🍄🍄🐍

@afaIk Once you're a few iterations into asking it to change stuff, it seems to get its knickers in a twist.

Bad enough watching idiots trying to use a spreadsheet as a database. Using a database as a spreadsheet is next level.

@YourMom Almost certainly.

@CaptainRant Careful, 99% of HR people think that counts as hacking.

The sexual life of the camel,

Is stranger than anyone thinks,

At the height of the mating season,

He tries to bugger the sphynx,

But the sphynx, by the wisdom of Allah,

Stuffs its arse with the sands of the Nile,

Which accounts for the hump on the camel,

And the sphynx's inscrutable smile.

@Liebranca Unfortunately, dogshit is what the majority of consumers / end users appear to want. They go wild for it.

@whimsical They're calm because they're actually the lizards.

I still can't be doing with goat.

You mean this anti-reptile copper cock ring with magnets in it might just be a placebo?

I remain broadly convinced that TypeScript is a little gimp.

Probably a sandwich from a hospital canteen.

Either that, or the livers of my enemies.

Most likely the sandwich.

"Tough break for Handjob, he was all set to get shipped out on a medical."

"What was the matter with him?"

"He was jerking off ten times a day."

"No shit, at least ten times."

"Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section 8."

Pretty sure we don't count as labourers. Kulaks, probably.

@freshlyfe Certainly the timers can survive being pelted at the wall better than actual tomatoes.

Pomodoro timers are just the right size to pelt at the wall when they ring at an inopportune time, and they tend not to survive many such incidents.

@devJs If @b2plane's gf ever gets into his devrant account they're going to be on the news.

"A man in Serbia has been found dangling by his genitalia from the Gazela Bridge, after his girlfriend apparently read his posts on an obscure online forum dedicated to hacking and cryptocurrency recovery services."

The Chancellor of the Exchequer. She's going to put the economy over the table and do it roughly from behind.

@kamen What more do you want?

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb?

Apparently is-odd gets more than 20 million downloads a year.

Worse still, is-even (which literally just returns !isOdd) gets more than 8 million downloads a year.

These people need to be whipped naked through the streets of Merthyr Tydfil.