True history... (I find in twitter)

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ (\__/)
   ⠀　 (•ㅅ•) my mentor defending
　＿ノ ヽ ノ＼ ＿ my code to the team
/　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ
( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 |
|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ   
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／
　 ｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/)
　 /ﾐ`ー―彡 \ (•ㅅ•) me

Made it!!! Starting at CERN on September 1st! :)

A big thank you to you guys for the support in my previous posts!

Should I get my new domain for 12 months or 1 year? Decisions, decisions...

!rant !dev

Some devRanters here live in Ireland? Got to say I just tried Guinness for the first time and I love it!

I shamelessly accept every LinkedIn connection request from recruiters just so that I can send their emails to me@rescam.org

This is some nevt level phishing. I wrote the guy who was listed in WHOIS an E-Mail, correcting his mistakes.

When see your boss on side of the street

It's friday, don't forget to push your code before you go home 😊

Me (5 days ago): A major, life-threatening hurricane is coming. I need to prepare. I know you have a need to launch so I will do my best to finish your project.

Client: Ok, stay safe.

Client (today): I know you're not done. You're late actually. To provoke you into further action, we went ahead and announced the launch and people will begin using the website now.

Me (at the store buying food for the next two week): What in the actual ... Here is your code. Finish it yourself. May God have mercy on your cold, dark soul.

Worst experience with higher ups:

The Office team at Microsoft suddenly woke up to the possibility of innovation from the grounds up. We were asked to come up with ideas. The best ideas were to be shortlisted by management.

That's what i had a problem with. People are generally bad at dertermining what will work. So instead of managenst shortlisting, everyone should have run cheap experiments with their ideas and we could then double down on the ones that showed promise. That's what is done at all internet companies. But the Office team's culture hadn't changed from the boxed software days.

I was asked to have faith in the judgement of management.

Well, Ballamer didn't let Office develop mobile apps for Android and Apple. When Nadella took over, he fixed that mistake. But because competitors had already gotten ahead, the Office team had to work on Saturdays for almost a year to ship it quickly. Meaning employees having to unnecessarily sacrifice their family time because of a strategic blunder by the highest management.

So excuse me if I don't have faith in the judgement of management.

Girl: I love guys who are rich.
Me: I paid for sublime and winrar.
Girl: Your place or mine??

(!rant)

Agree.

When you didn't forget

Thank you sooooo much for giving me a list of six tutorial videos you expect me to record by tomorrow, before I leave the company. It shouldn't be too hard, you say, having never ever gone through any of the processes before. Oh, and this is in addition to the big video tutorial which you asked for this afternoon that you expect by Friday morning. Not to mention the eight separate projects I still need to write documentation for. Oh, and this all would have been much smoother if this company would have given me time to work out all this documentation earlier instead of waiting until after I turned in my two weeks to take documentation seriously.

I guess I'll be lucky if I only have to deal with these things tomorrow. But given your penchant for pulling me off my main projects to deal with bullshit tangents, I bet that ain't going to happen. And I bet you're still going to flood me with calls on Monday morning, as I start my brand new job.

I had this one teacher that sucked some serioud dick. She refused to teach us what she was supposed to... Java.

Her teaching habits include: talking about her life problems for the whole class until the last 5 minutes to actually teach us knowledge that usually ended up being useless, refusing to answer questions and demanding that we use Google instead, and worst of all... the way she checked our programs to see if they would work. The absolute FIRST thing that she would do when she sat down at our computer, was open up our code, to see if it looked EXACTLY like her fucking code. She wouldn't even check if it worked first...

Honestly, teacher's like this completely piss me off and the students of this class learned more from the students with pre-knowledge than they did from studying the notes that the teacher gave in the last five minutes of class.

What would happen if you pressed no? 🤔

- implement feature
- manager suggests a different way to do it
- manager's version adds bug
- get blamed
- manager makes you implement feature the way you originally did it

.....

Teacher : use"ransomware" in a sentence
Student : I used to know a girl, but then she ransomware
Whole class :

Saw a job posting at subway in Chicago. Need a job ?

That’s true...

From http://theoatmeal.com/comics/...

Sad but true :(

_Taken from a telegram channel_

No. Just no.

Intern fuckups

Like it should be you stupid bitch!

Every standup, we had to make a skype call to the other office in UK. At that office was the QA lead and for this project she was on our team. One day she came in late to the standup and just looked pissed or sick or SOMETHING. This was particularly strange because usually she was incredibly cheery and "the life of the meeting" in a sense. After everybody's update, she was asked if she had anything to say. She started fucking mumbling some shit I couldn't hear because of the bad audio quality, then she progressively raised her voice until finally she was yelling and cussed out the PM, ending it off with "ALL FUCKING BECAUSE OF YOU, <PM>!!" Everybody was just fucking speechless and confused as fuck. Nobody understood what her fucking issue was, but the PM (on my end of the call) was not taking that shit! "LOOK LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPLAINT IS BUT THIS IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE." Blah blah, he gave it to her good, told her they needed to take it offline, ended the call abruptly and then turned to all of us and said, "Jesus Christ, what drugs is she taking?" To this day I have no idea what the hell happened but it's still one of my funniest memories at that company.

I see where Google is going with women techmakers program

😂😂 typically windows

Best one...

...ANnnnd that kids, is how I made a federal watch list, researching how to use credit card swiping systems and making thermite.

The only colleague I'd ever need.