Details
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						About🚚⛅️🚔 Official Cloud Pusher (DevOps)
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						SkillsYou write it, I deploy it, test it, manage it, secure it...
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						LocationNorth Carolina, USA
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						Website
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						Github
Joined devRant on 4/10/2016
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				    Fuck this goofy apple magic mouse which i gotta recharge from the bottom making the mouse unusable instead of charging from the sides25
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				    After I caught COVID-19 my eyesight got really bad. Well, I just got back from the doctor and I need to wear glasses. What's the first thing I did?
 
 [ ] Buy the glasses
 [ X ] Put glasses on my devRant avatar8
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				    Don't update your pull requests half asleep, I repeat don't.
 
 Now it's 2 AM, I am fully awake regretting my decisions.1
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				    WTF intellij DataGrip is way too good. Why didnt anyone tell me this software exists?? I was using the oracle and pgadmin by now. Life could have been so much fking easier if i knew this existed4
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				    Ah, another day, another regression found in a major library
 
 guess i work for all these companies as a volunteer
 
 🤦♂️
 
 good thing i'm no where near their 6 figure salaries either.
 
 maybe i should get that 6 figure salary and then eat more salads and steaks at the free food court, type more shitty code on couches, and play more foosball during my approximate 4 hour work day to acheive their software levels
 
 if only i was so good2
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				    Another member of the team updated the production JSON configuration of the project with a missing comma, this broke a system that's not yet live and where there aren't any real users (only used for demos/testing).
 
 Instead of having a good laugh about how silly this was, the CTO/CEO removed their write access to production..3
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				    When your stackoverflow issue has already 18 pings in one hour.... on a sunday...
 
 someone fucked up a dep and now everyone's gatsby builds aren't working
 
 #rip1
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				    JS Console: user_name is undefined
 Señor Dev: can't be the API response has it!
 The API response: usre_name8
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				    Do you remember GAME LOGO programming language where you can move the turtle around the map and draw lines? Someone made a Lisp out of it!
 https://toodle.studio/ 3 3
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				    Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?
 
 Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.
 
 Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?
 
 Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.
 
 Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?
 
 Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.
 
 Manager: How about a second monitor?
 
 Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.
 
 Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.
 
 Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.
 
 Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.
 
 Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.
 
 Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.3
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				    It’s been 2 years I migrated from PC to Mac for development and today I can boldly say “I found peace on this side”.3
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				    Apparently, HERE Maps supports transport via spaceship 😲
 
 I don’t know if this is a joke or not but it’s in the API documentation:
 
 https://developer.here.com/document... 5 5
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				    When I was learning to program nearly 15 my years ago I was incorrectly lead to believe that dividing by zero would be a much more common problem.10
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				    (Forgot to post this a few days ago. Was just too tired.)
 
 Finally finished the code review from hell.
 
 The patch on top of the PR is +1448 -1114, and nearly all of it is rearchitecting, not moving.
 
 I think I spent six days on it, 4-5 productive hours a day? Seems like a lot. This codebase is a bitch to work in.
 
 I’m spent.1
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				    🎉 As of today, I can proudly count myself among the members of the "Killed Prod on A Friday Afternoon" club. 🎉16
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				    Always, always, with every estimate in time or resources you or your pm/manager/whatever thinks to need. Multiply that number by pi.
 
 That's a more real-world estimate.8
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				    Reddit: Every developer eventually either goes insane or becomes a farmer.
 
 Dev: …I hope I become a farmer14

 
		
		
	



