That moment when

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

Gradle build finished in 20 minutes.

20 minutes? Wtf Gradle.

I hate front-end and CSS

Man this makefile is slow. Someone should do something about it.
And now that’s my job.

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

Decided to go hardcore Vim in 2018.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

Me: would you like me to design the website as well?
Client: no, we have a web designer. you just have to implement it.
Me: *receives the design, made with powerpoint* 😐

90s - We will use AI to cure cancer in the future..
2017 -

In my second year,
I told my teacher I can code in in C#(c-sharp).

She replied : C-sharp ? Oh you mean C-hash !

*that day I lost hope in college*

Use eclipse, it's a good ide

Thinking of a name for a function or a variable is half the battle 😕💭

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

(While there is also IntelliJ on the PC)

Teacher : "We're going to make JAVA, please open Eclipse"

Me : *Opens IntelliJ, get weird looks from friends and explains why it's good*

"Coding is easy. All you need is an idea, and the rest is just typing!"

First time I won a hackathon!!

Saddened that most of my real life friends fail the Turing test.

This is my first rant here, so I hope everyone has a good time reading it.

So, the company I am working for got me going on the task to do a rewrite of a firmware that was extended for about 20 years now. Which is fine, since all new machines will be on a new platform anyways. (The old firmware was written for an 8051 initially. That thing has 256 byte of ram. Just imagine the usage of unions and bitfields...)

So, me and a few colleagues go ahead and start from scratch.
In the meantime however, the client has hired one single lonely developer. Keep in mind that nobody there understands code!
And oh boy did he go nuts on the old code, only for having it used on the very last machine of the old platform, ever! Everything after that one will have our firmware!

There are other machines in that series, using the original extended firmware. Nothing is compatible, bootloaders do not match, memory layouts do not match, code is a horrible mess now, the client is writing the specification RIGHT NOW (mind, the machine is already sold to customers), there are no tests, and for the grand finale, the guy canceled his job and went to a different company. Did I mention the bugs it has and the features it lacks?

Guess who's got to maintain that single abomination of a firmware now?

Permissions in Windows

For coffee lovers.

I'm sorry, why is this a problem again?

Is acceptable to hang around here at the age of 14? Programming is so much fun and the only ones who share my humor is you guys

When you work for school IT you find these kinds of things sometimes when cleaning the office. And yes it's fully functional

new formula for life...

Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!

Be brave enough to ask a girl out😄♥

public void listenUp(){
If (goodMood){
approachSayHi;
}
else{
backTheFuckUp;
}
}

😂
Courtesy - xkcd.com

#Magic