Here's a favorite of mine. Managers need to be in meetings to be productive. Developers need to stay far away from meetings to be productive. Managers love to drag developers into meetings and then wonder why their productivity is down.

I let my wife use my laptop for a minute. She closed all my tabs and I can't restore them. Our love died inside a little today.

Thanks @dfox for adding the double tap to upvote feature, I mean, bug. You're a saint

programmer's house