I smell burnt electronics.... Somewhere. Can't find it. Look, unplug, smell, plug in, look smell, unplug, smell, dance, can't find it.

I need a young priest and an old priest.

I get invited to happy hour and get togethers all the time but don't want to go. Stop inviting me to shit. I'm sick of thinking up excuses. There are only so many times I can say my kid has something going on.

There seems to be a lot of people protesting and coming together in support of net neutrality.

The rant here, where the fuck were all of you during the election? That was the time to come together and do something, now your efforts are futile.

What's worse, I'll wager net neutrality gets overturned and next election the same batch of assholes get voted in.

What can you actually do to solve the problem? Peer to peer internet similar to tor but fast enough to support considerable traffic. Platform needs to be like tor with encrypted decentralized DNS.

Start an ISP. This would also help.

Get cracking, smart people.

I killed a man.

Oh, a dev sin, I haven't automated our builds yet and implemented ci.

You just have to love users, especially when you work in an environment where politics dictate database constraints and application rules.

"Can you pull tax info for x, y, and z."

Nope, I could if the stuff was entered into the database properly but until standardized I can't do much. Here are the numbers I have, use them or don't but I'm not fabricating data for you for a tax form.

Testing reports be like...

So my MacBook pro (retina 2013) is almost 5 years old. I like os x so was shopping for a new one, 3 grand for very marginal performance boost and a touchable bar.... Hmm. I guess my current can survive until apple makes a laptop with some balls.

Not buying apple stock in 1997 or whenever it was really cheap.

Accountant: Can we just get one big Excel file with all the transactions instead of separate reports that are filled out specifically for each dorm?

Me: Hell yes you can.

Random phone call from an hr person at the company.

Here's my face reveal.

I have worked in a hosting or sysadmin role for at least 8 years out of my career and managed thousands of servers in very large environments. My team has been shopping around for a new hosting company and has yet to include me on the calls / advisement. The people shopping for a provider... Zero hosting experience. Zero sysadmin experience. Zero applicable experience. Not IT people, not technical. Well I guess it's job security for when things blow up in our faces that I'll need to fix it.

My God, don't ruin python with your presence, ass basket.

"Shkreli signed the letter, adding "P.S. Donald Trump is your President, too."

It was written on the back of what appears to be Shkreli's typed analysis of the computer programming language Python."

https://cbsnews.com/news/...

Poor Gordon... 😥

Put in 22 hours of work (straight through) and an end user requested changes the next day.

Fuck you, I'm out.

My cable company imposed a data cap on us, then offered an unlimited plan for 50/month. So total would be 150/month for only internet. Unfortunately, they are the only provider.

Until now. I got on the phone with their competition for around 3 hours today and talked them into rolling out to our neighborhood. As of Tuesday, we actually have competition. It feels so good to screw over the cable company like this, especially after how they approached data caps.

Somewhere between alpha testing and production

I bought BMW recently and the engineers who designed it did a phenomenal job. The one oddity though, there are up and down arrows on the steering wheel representing next and previous, except that down is next and up is previous. It's so counter intuitive and I wish they would standardize button interfaces or produce guidelines everyone would stick to.

Battling impossible project deadlines and maintaining a work life balance. Estimating projects properly.

Probably wiring up a door chime for my smart things (because they don't sell one) that plays the classic 7-11 chime when any door is opened.

That or using xpath to write beautiful dynamic SQL.

#!/bin/bash
let rant=false

Has anyone figured out how to use a magic mouse with a kvm? I have a kvm which I am thinking about putting a Bluetooth dongle into and pairing with magic mouse. Does anyone know if this would work?

I decided to run Ethernet to a different part of the house figuring oh that's easy enough, only 30 feet or so, I bet it will take 20 mins....

3 hours later after spending 2 fishing wire through an Arizona attic I am dehydrated and sore. When will I learn to stick to coding and leave the labor to guys with callused hands and ladders.

I found my rubber duck.

Murder the other applicants.

If you can't just do that, hit up your friends and colleagues for connections into companies. That's the easiest way to get a job, I find.

You've said this before, I don't believe you.

In honor of the attack on net neutrality here is a funny gif I found of the asshole trying to kill off net neutrality.

An old data conversion environment using access and and vb6. I used this in 2013 or so... It's still that company's standard.

For Enterprise database conversion projects, a 2 gb limit on the database size and awkward stupid syntax it didn't work well.

Best "error" I've ever seen today.

We have a very large database with millions of people, some of those records are duplicates. So I had a long project to write something that would automatically merge duplicate records while allowing employees to review them. Today we had a duplicate show up in the list which should not have.

Same name (apart from one letter), address, employee ID (off by 1 number), same manager, title, phone number, birthdate. But we figured out it wasn't the same person and therefore wasn't a good match.

Turns out they are twin sisters who live together and we're hired by the same manager for the same position at the same time. What are the odds...

Less sleep and way more money.

Phentermine.

No sleep required.