The moment when you realize you searched about half an houre for someting you could have done easier in a way you already knew.

Just thought that there should be a Harry Potter based code camp where the four houses represents a language that you are learning at the camp.

For example, Gryffindor can be ruby, Hufflepuff can be Javascript, Ravenclaw can be PHP and, of course, Python is Slytherin.

I find myself here once again

Worked 6 hours straight without a break today. Completely exhausted😌, but the level of satisfaction out of the world!😊

Creating a new account is always fun...

"This Is My Secure Password" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed.

"ThisIsMySecurePassword" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a number

"ThisIsMySecurePassword1" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a special character

"ThisIsMySecurePassword 1" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed

"ThisIsMySecurePassword%1" <-- Sorry, the % character is not allowed

"ThisIsMySecurePassword_1" <-- Sorry, passwords must be shorter than 16 characters

"Fuck" <-- Sorry, passwords must longer than 6 characters

"Fuck_it" <-- Sorry, passwords can't contain bad language

"Password_1" <-- Accepted.

That moment that you get some kind of pretty critical error/bug/crash in an application in production and you can't reproduce it anymore and you're just sitting there praying that it won't happen again 😥

I have just thought of the perfect solution when support for fucking ancient IE versions creaps in the requirements (and asking the assholes to produce numbers to support the crazy does not help)

Just do browser detection and if IE < 9 Replace body with one of those winXP alert boxes that tell them there Computer is infected and that they can get a free scan (it's what they are used to anyway). Put a link to the installer of your favourite browser over the entire image.😎

Good news is 100℅ code reuse! Works on every outdated IE and every website that requires IE support.

When your client complains there site is slow and you find that they have added 80 full resolution images at 6000x4000 pixels to the home page!

Non-dev coworker (ndc) sees me using google chrome: I don't understand why chrome is so popular. I hate it and don't know why anyone would use it.
Me: what browser do you use?
NDC: internet explorer.
Me: why do you like ie better than chrome?
NDC: it does everything chrome can do and it's free.
Me: ie can NOT do everything chrome can do and chrome is free. You just have to download it from google.
NDC: no I read that chrome is proprietary software and why would I pay to use it when ie is free.
Me: ie is also proprietary software. Proprietary doesn't necessarily mean it costs money it's just not open source. Plus ie is not free. You paid for it when you bought the windows license that came with your computer.
NDC: no ie was already on the computer when I bought it so I didn't have to pay for it.
Me: it was included in the price of the computer but you still paid for it.
NDC: whatever I'm going to keep using ie because it's free for me.

ARE YOU RETARDED???

D: Hey, your stuff isn't working, fix your stuff or it will become a road blocker.
Me: Why it is not working?
D: Because I used the same table as you used, and I changed a few things. there are 22 reasons for it.
(polite conversation stopped and I redirected him to my manager)

WTF? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU CHANGED MY STUFF WITHOUT TELLING ME AND YOU ARE NOT USING ANY SOURCE CONTROL? WTF? YOU CREATED THIS SHIT AND CALL MY STUFF NOT WORKING? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?

CUT YOUR FINGERS AND POINT TO YOURSELF.

(On a phone interview)

"So... in the entire span of your professional career, you've never had someone you could call a mentor?"

"Uh, nope, been mostly on my own."

"How did you learn new things?"

"I read a lot of Hacker News."

True story.

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

StackOverflow is the best thing ever created. Literally. Ever.

Why do they send flat colour logos as fucking jpegs? Indexed png or gif unless you like the artifacting on your shit logo, dickbrain.