- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

I love to see the confusion in people's face when they ask to use my computer, open the browser, type "g", hit enter, and land on GitHub instead of Google. 😄

Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.

My boss has a camera in the office for "security" reasons and I happen to be just right under it, exposing my computer screens to it. So I wrote a script that sends me an email whenever the camera port is accessed.

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

I could play games, but to make games, all I had to do was see sharp 😂

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

This is called efficient solution...

Why software aren't free!

Credit : 9gag

Laughed so hard, that I had to defenitely post it on devRant.

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

got a new phone last week, just realized that I didn't re-download devRant!

Hello! 👋

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders?
1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop
Now, no one will open internet explorer 😂

When the creator of JavaScript answers your questions !!! Damn !

I'm giving up alcohol for a month.

Wait that came out wrong.

I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month

Cred: instagram

Found this beauty today(it's an eraser)

Thought id share this gem

Little did he know…

I kinda feel sorry for him

Many programmers dont know the struggle...

Meditation

"I just got out, and all dad cares about is getting one of these... 🤔"

Interviewer: "..and what was your biggest achievement in your previous job experiences?"

Me:

So,

I bagged the job! All of that hard work paid off!

Happy new year guys 😊

I started in 2015 at my current job. The first contract was for a year, very normal in the Netherlands. Also, I had only 6 months of professional experience with programming.
I already knew that I would replace an older colleague who's going to retire and I would get some of his responsibilities.

One year later (6 months ago) I had an evaluation with my boss. He told me he was proud I learned everything so quick and offered me a permanent position and wanted me to take over one of the major products we sell. Even more, he wanted me to decide how to change the framework since it's over 20years old. (Multiple languages combined)

I am currently working on a new design and UX as well, which I presented last year. The love it.

I've never felt so appreciated and valued before.

When your device touch Screen is not working 😎