A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

Every time I write 'color', I die slightly inside

The best. There are so simple.

Hire him!

... when you leave the meeting exactly as smart as you were going in!

Pro Tip: Act like you know what you're doing even if you have no idea.

Seen in an IT company in Denmark

In my company we developped a tool where we enter the average salary of all members of the meeting and then let a timer run which would show how much money the company spent on that specific meeting.
Needless to say that meetings were way shorter after that

I made a website for a guy, been keeping a casual eye on it and it's fine, if boring.

Then he calls in a panic to tell me it's been hacked, there is porn everywhere and funny underlined words and I must fix it right now!

So I drop what I'm doing and access the site and it's fine. I use a few different devices and even a couple of different networks and can't see a thing wrong with it.

Then I spent half an hour on the phone trying to convince him that his own shady surfing habits are causing this on his computer only.

I get the feeling he didn't believe me because he hasn't paid the latest invoice..

Achievement of the day. Finally managed to reproduce a bug a client reported

College vs real world

True story.

I studied at an Art School and my co-ordinator liked to screw with students. He set up a short-notice meeting with himself, myself and an audio guy (to work on our game).

I didn't know any of this however and my co-ordinator opened with: "He's a photographer looking for a lean Male to do a nude art shoot."....... I'm pretty confident person and I thought he was serious so I agreed to it.

He wasn't serious and it became an interesting start to the meeting.

If you're wondering why your Mac is slow as sh*t, be advised that it's playing Chess during it's free time.

When you pour coffee into this, it instantly freezes

Havent tried it yet cause it's for my work setup, but here's to nothing...

Boss told me he couldn't raise my salary, since according to him, I was already overpaid. Months later they suddenly outsource some positions, including mine. I got 6 months with payment as a parachute. But I also got a new job that pays $15 000 more each year...!

It's nice to have double salary for 6 months...

:)

Couple of years ago, I made a nice app that i was proud of, and a friend's father was interested so i visited him on his office to demo the app. Everything went nice up untill his damn printer decided to stop working and the very old man asked me for help "politely" . I made the classical mistake and tried to help but i could'nt fix it . the client old man later said he would contact me soon but that never happened. I thought he didn't like the app but i asked my friend anyway. You know the rest , he liked the app but was worried because i was very young and lack skills!!
he's questioned my skills for not being able to fix the printer. -_-

When you prove its a hardware probelm

😂 😂 😂

when its linux birthday

Go home google you are drunk!

If your only contribution to a stack overflow question is 'me too' then don't bother.

Show your notebooks :)

Can you get enough Pointers?

Slack is scared as hell about Microsoft Teams that is targeted to enterprise customers.

Did you hear about the full page newspapar ad they did?... Passive aggressive move by slack

Our boss has organized a personal trainer so he makes workouts with us every Thursday in the working place. Then you realize how much you are sitting in front of the computer. Just awesome.

Heard a new one from the client today.
Said with a straight face, "You guys write your HTML in all caps, right? It's better for SEO."

Just speed these next to each other, fantastic😺🙂

I was talking to my wife about devRant tonight, and that at 20 +'s you get a sticker, and at 300 your get a stress ball, and she said : "Yes you already told me... I guess at 1000 +'s they'll give you a wife".
Ermm...