"Windows is shit because it is non-free"
Says the Apple user

Probably an unpopular opinion here:

I don't use Linux and I genuinely love Windows!

Is there anything uglier than XML documentation comments? The signal to noise ratio is appalling, like an exercise in redundancy for the sake of redundancy.

/// <summary>
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// </summary>
/// <param name="keySize">Size of the key.</param>
/// <param name="cipher">The cipher.</param>
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }

Compare that to the equivalent markdown documentation comments:
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// ##Parameters
/// - `keySize` - Size of the key.
/// - `cipher` - The cipher.
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }

How me and my dev friend look at code snippets we wrote just a year ago

Does this guy count as a rubber duck...?

I don't go to the doctor and tell him what tools to use. I was just told to delete the .scss files because they were taking up too much room and to put all partials and images at root instead of in descriptive folders.

Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?

I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!

And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!

Just me, myself and I ;-)

When they use a photo of fucking JavaScript (no hate) code for every fucking unrelated news.

Don't BS your managers or peers about your understanding of a topic.

It is okay to not know something. It is not okay to pretend that you do.

Random Guy: So you wrote all this in Java?
Me: JavaScript
Random Guy: Yea. What i said. It's the same!
Me: *triggered*

My advice for new devs, or to all of us :)

"Senior Engineer/Dev/etc." is just the title for the guy who's learned from making the most mistakes.

Under promise over deliver

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

unlimited

Every deadline ever

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

Being a developer is it still possible to be a gamer?

I feel like with all the new technologies coming in, I am always occupied with learning something and I don't get the time to game at all.

I am coming to a realisation that everything together is not possible anymore :(

The most important piece of code in any of my sites.

Made me laugh a little :D

Uhm ... Yes, I work with computers. No, I can't help you with your Excel problem.

<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**