No doubt 😂

What's the best thing about UDP jokes?

I don't care if you get them.

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
If I were a query,
I'd SELECT * FROM you;

If I spend 50% of my time in meetings, 30% of my time doing things for support/helpdesk which I'm not allowed to automate, 10% as a technical consult and 10% helping other devs... am I even a developer anymore?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Just saw a recruitment post for a female speaker to join a female panel at a "women in tech" event. And it's by an organisation called "codelikeagirl". 😒

As a female developer, it gives me the upmost cringe to hear about any #women or #girlpower events. Do you really need to validate your ability and support because of your gender? Men don't go to #menInTech events, so why do you need to go #womenInTech events?

On the surface it seems all friendly and gender equality fluff. But if you segregate yourselves into an all exclusive group, isn't that the opposite of what your trying to "achieve"?

When you're copying over 100GB. Ugh, it's gonna take forever.

Please kill me.

A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.

A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.

My Laptop Setup

Me: So how do you handle conflict
Candidate: I use git kraken to highlight my conflicts and walk through them one by one

Probably the most developer answer i've ever heard hahaha

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

Undev life
"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me .......and then plug me back in, see if that works"

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

The ability to undo is a gift to mankind...

Holy shit, this is completely is rendered in CSS
http://species-in-pieces.com/
Such beauty (about endangered species)

"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."

- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."

- "So... I have to test on stage?"

- "It doesn't work on stage either."

- "Uh, on prod?"

*office laughs*

We're doing it live folks.

Android stuck on boot when running from SD card
Source: Reddit

Sometimes I just feel like punching them😂

Duck Vader