If you can't be gay with your homies, are you even straight?

I can't begin to express how utterly useless timestamps like "Today, about 15 minutes ago" or "Yesterday", or "Monday", or "Two Weeks Ago" are.

Those aren't times. Those are relative descriptions of times and are utterly useless.

If I don't know the current date for any number of reasons, such as when viewing a screenshot, it's a worse description than not having one at all.

Again, I am stymied by Apple's insistence to make everything that much less useful for literally no gain.

the two code review personality types

review activity:

- dev A: requests code review, sets dev B and dev c (myself) as reviewers

 - dev C comments: this review is marked with a complexity > 9000, touches > 20 files and has zero comments... also there's a lot of refactoring going on, making it hard for me to tell what the actual relevant changes are. can you please add more comments to this review?

 - dev B (10 mins later): approved review

How do you get the code for the bank vault?
You checkout their branch

Windows: You paid for the whole CPU. I’m gonna use the full CPU.
Ubuntu: The CPU tax is 50%. You know the rules.
Void: Welcome to our tax haven! CPU tax is now 20%.
SliTaz: You paid for the whole CPU. I’m gonna give you the whole CPU.

Tiny Core Linux, running on a literal potato while rendering the UI in 8K 400 FPS: You guys are getting CPUs?

I don't want to enable Fucking Adaptive Brightness, I pulled the brightness bar all the way to the right because I want the brightness to be set to maximum. Eat shit.

Year 2023

phone charges from 10 to 100% in <30min
battery holds for 3-4 days

... I still can't believe it.
What kind of black magic is this...

My status update for tomorrow:
"I've done the tests and have the results, now all I have to do is work out what the numbers mean coz I started this task 6 months ago and have spent most of the last 6 months putting out fires elsewhere and have no idea what I was doing".

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!

It’s always better to be rich but healthy than poor but sick.

Why do people have to lie? I am seriously getting tired of it.

Context: While I was on vacation the company hired some guy we’ll call Bob.
Bob is a senior with 10+ years of experience. 5 of those years in React (supposedly).
I got back from vacation and was told I’d be working on a project with Bob.
I’ve worked in teams before so I thought no problem.

Now I am aware that different people have different styles, so that’s why we agreed on a lint config with some fancy git hooks.

I was excited at first because the project actually seems nice, but my excitement soon turned into terror.

First of all, Bob doesn’t seem to understand Git…fair enough, I’ll give him a quick guide…

Mf calls me at 11pm on a Friday because he can’t push because the tests are failling.

Now tests. Bob doesn’t write those. Great.

We had created a few components to use throughout the project.

Bob seems to consistently forget what components are and why you write them and just imports the defaults from the UI library we’re using.

Bob also has a kink for hardcoding values for some reason.

I talked to Bob multiple times about this and he just tells me he’ll change it but in the end the PR stays open for 5 days, before it’s actually me who goes in and fixes it. Oh and yeah this shit keeps happening over and over again.

Now I know some of us devs hate meetings but for the love of God Bob just show up. You don’t even have to speak. Or at least answer a message that corresponds to the working hours and not in the middle of the night.

I am getting tired of this behavior and am seriously holding back from reporting this to the management. It’s been a month and I am seriously worried about the project. I have my own stuff to do but it takes time for me to clean up his absolute mess that doesn’t even pass the CI.

Call me an asshole I don’t care. It’s been a month and I’m legit worried about the future of the project.

Story from my friend who I drank a beer with yesterday:

His manager has balls bigger than elefants.. Hiring a group of anarcho kinda pentest / hacker fucks from a freelance portal from Serbia... Who found quite some shit in their internal systems.

You should think twice about paying them late and especially paying them only half the amount. Even though "they wouldn't sue them anyway".

Sure, they won't.

But take a smart guess what they did.

Fuckin idiot manager.

Once, I overheard a conversation between my former PM and a client during a phone call.

Client: I will send the final draft of the project by Thursday.

PM: That's great to hear!

Client: When can I expect the updates to review the changes after the draft is sent? I need to present it at a meeting this weekend.

PM: It should be ready by Friday without fail!

Client: Excellent! Thank you. I will be expecting it.

PM: Sure, goodbye.

(After the call, PM joined the team.)

PM: So, team, the client for Project-A will be sending us a new draft for review and updates. They are putting a lot of pressure on us and need it to be ready by Friday at the latest. We need to treat this with a sense of urgency.

(After hearing this, we felt compelled to respond.)

Me: There's no way they would expect us to deliver an unseen draft within a day. Both the backend and Figma team members were forced to work last weekend, on Saturday, because you mentioned that Project B was behind schedule and the client needed an update by Monday. We simply can't continue working like this.

Backend guy 2: I also worked last Sunday on Project B.

Me: We overheard you telling the client that they should expect an update by Friday. It seems like you're the one directly putting the team under pressure, even though we still have three ongoing projects with tight deadlines.

(The office fell into an uncomfortable silence.)
(PM left the office without saying a word.)

Later on, I heard that he contacted the client to reschedule the expected time of arrival (ETA) after receiving the draft.

just got directly sneezed on in the office from someone walking behind me. Turns out he's full of a cold.
That's my November fucked then
t**t

For our programming peeps ...

Apple just denied my app because one of the screenshots for the app tells users that the live-data comes from the (official) company that this (official company's) app is created for.

Nice one apple....again...

MOTHERFUCKING Stripe !!!

Changed their dashboard layout !! Yes, let's move the top navbar to the left and change the whole layout. Oh yeah, and let's make the page less responsive than before.

I seriously don't understand why Stripe had to do this. Their dashboard layout was completely fine and useful but noooo lets change the navbar from the top to the left.

Because of these fucks, I now have to train my muscle memory to get used to this SHITTY ASS layout.

Fuck this. FUCK ALL OF THIS.