😆 Why SQL, why are you screaming all the time?

Finally got my first REAL job 🙂

*devRant was down*

Open devRant to rant about devRant being down

Oh, wait..

I am entitled to changes

Gotta say, that's a good one.

Recruiter: "Do you have at least 5 years of experience with Angular?"
Me: "No, barely half a year"
Recruiter: "Then why did you get in touch with me?"
Me: "You were the one calling me [you moron]"

How not to design a modem...

Cables hide perfectly - inside the wall...

These green ticks always make me smile :)

Or float

Interview vs Job

stackoverflow ❤️

Someone has to fucking say it.

It’s my new title

who reads readme.txt files?

Bonus points if the person asking me to write tests is a direct contributor to the feature and he's low-key asking me to cover his code.

iGiggled

Let’s run it again to be sure

Coz programmer's happiness comes only after a peak frustration

What can I say 🤷

Just python things 🤷

Searched stackoverflow and found the exact issue I was having. The question is from 2014.

The accepted answer is a messy hack. Fuck.

The second answer is clean, clear, concise. It was posted 38 minutes ago.

Is this real life?

Fuck off!

The Handover!

Hold my stuff I'll be right back... And yeah I'm gonna take long.

This thing I've assembled during a long online meeting

I'm straight, don't patronise me lol.

Time to reinstall Windows 10

The king is dead!
Long live the kind!

Client: "Do you think we could finish specs in week 33, see a demo in week 35, and aim for the product to be finished in week 39?"

I jump on the conference room table, rip the shirt off my sweaty chest, and yell:

"WEEKS OF WHAT? 31 WEEKS SINCE YOU BECAME A CLIENT, 35 WEEKS FROM NOW, 39 WEEKS INTO THE PREGNANCY? BLOODY FUCKING HELL MAN, DO YOU HAVE TO TALK LIKE A RETARD?"

Client, unfazed: "Weeks since the start of the year, sir"

Me, swinging my pants above my head like a lasso:

"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SNOWFLAKE ARE YOU, YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO COUNT THE WEEKS SINCE THE START OF THE YEAR? WHAT ABOUT JUST USING DAY OF THE MONTH YOU OBNOXIOUS DIMWIT?"

Client: "We always use weeks at our company to plan things"

Me, winding the legs of my pants around the neck of the client:

"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE WEEKNUMBERS, JAKE. I. FUCKING. HATE. IT."

Client, still pretending everything is fine: "If you want I could send you a screenshot of my outlook calendar?"

Me, sitting in underpants on the client's back, sweaty legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull out his gel-infested manager-hair while strangling him with my pants:

"TIME OF DEATH, UNIX TIMESTAMP 1595240810, ISO 8601 DATE 2020-07-20T10:26:50+00:00. ANOTHER PROJECT SUCCESSFULLY WRAPPED UP"

(parts of this story may have been dramatized to reflect my underlying emotions)

.... VS code is lit🔥🔥