Great opportunities now as per Managers:

* Develop a chat system like Zoom
* Develop anti-virus for Coronavirus
* Develop time travel machine to stop Coronavirus at the point it started

When Coronavirus become a household name, our Manager said:

"This is a good to time to build a real-time chat system like Zoom. If anyone is able to build something like it, it will help our company grow."

[Silence]

Manager: "There is a lot of demand."

[More silence]

"The client needs this feature by the end of the month."
Me: "Ok."
You can probably figure out what happened by the end of the month.

Using a dark theme editor doesn't make you good programmer.

Jetbrains (IntelliJ, Rider) - cannot live without it. Everything else seems to be unnecessarily complicated in comparison.

Boss: Give me unrestricted access in the system.

Me: It's dangerous. You might break something.

Boss: I'll be careful.

Me: *gives access*

This happened 2 years ago. Now every week he deletes something he shouldn't and break a module for him or for the clients using our system.

Just woke up in a rant email saying that "oUr OnLiNe StOrE DoEs NoT wOrK". Well, that's because you have delete the Cart configuration for all the clients you dumbass. What the fuck were you thinking when you deleted that?

Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶

Editor? VSCode.
IDE? IntelliJ.
Hotel? Trivago.

I don't move much. My back aches, and I'm getting rather fat.

Windows boot manager.

aahh just keep googling

I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO BE NICE TO THESE KINDA FCKED UP IGNORANT PEOPLE

[11:10, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ...: Hi I want to develop an app do you live in glen view
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Um in budiriro
[11:12, 16/04/2020] Softaz: What do yu have in mind
[11:15, 16/04/2020] +263 73 ....: There's an idea I've been testing and its about creating an app thats track patients with the covid virus the people they have infected even before the infected ones test positive
[11:16, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4....: What do you think about this coz this is not a money generating project but we will do it for humanity
[11:17, 16/04/2020] +263 73 4...: We will finish the project in less than 3 days coz I've got the research covered and how the app will operate I jus need someone who can punch the code
[11:22, 16/04/2020] Softaz: Its a good idea
Though your time frame is too tight

What platform will this app run on?
[11:26, 16/04/2020] +263 73 47...: About the time frame its becoz its a very simple mechanism

........

So I finally finished that task from 2018

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

Me: *Wants to install Office trial to use a key to activate it*
Microshit: You're almost ready to use office. But we we need you to provide payment information to use the trial.
Me: This is one more reason to why a metric fuckton of ppl despise you, Microsoft!

Next level of Google Translate

"Let's quickly make sure that the docker container can access a host database"

I guess I can put that quickly up my ass.

How motherfucking difficult can this be?!

ouch, it hurts seeing this...

Friend: OMG are you hacking ?

[sudo apt-get update] running

Me: Yes. I am.