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When abandoning a midnight bug hunt in the middle of a particularly nasty bug, always remember to leave kind words for your future self to see, so that they're not as disappointed with you for leaving this work for them.2
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Back when I was in school (about 15 years old) and I played games, I had a particularly favourite game that I would play. It was a lesser known strategy game made by a single hobbyist Dev.
I was already known in the community for making some mods for the game and chatbots.
What most people didn't know was that I had made a map hack and various other cheats that made it significantly easier to win by reverse engineering the game and modifying the x86 assembly in ollydbg.
One thing in particular I had been working on at the time was a game replay editor. I had reverse engineered the saved game (replay) format and was able to replay them, edit them and generate them.
During one particular match, a person in the community particularly annoyed me and I edited the saved game to change what his moves were and the words he spoke. It made him look a bit like an idiot but IMHO was only a slight exaggeration of the truth.
I posted the game replay on the forums and everyone was in hysterics about the crazy things he did and said in the replay.
As no one knew I had this capability they all believed the replay and even the guy in the replay couldn't believe it himself and didn't understand what happened. He just kept telling everyone it didn't happen and the 'truth is in the pudding'.
Although I originally intended to tell everyone what I did, I never did and whenever the guy entered in to a game everyone would laugh about it and say 'the truth was in the pudding'.
He was no longer annoying me and it sort of made me feel like a god at the time.
So that's my wk65.2 -
A former colleague made an online shopping app. Boss wanted to promote him to Senior Developer when he still working with us.
14 days ago another colleague checked the code and told the boss that it's ready for production. No one asked me because everyone in the company thinks am the stupid developer of them all.
So what happened?
Well the total value of the cart was being over to payment gateway using a hidden field. Well you know the rest of the story.
The client has sued our company for this issue and boss came running to me and asked me to check if it was our fault or something else.
I checked and found the hidden value where the total value of cart was being stored and send over to payment gateway. The following is the conversation between me and the colleague who checked the code:
Me: So you checked the code and everything was okay?
Him: Yes, all good.
Me: Did you see this hidden field where the total value of cart is being passed to the payment gateway?
Him: Yes
Me: Why didn't you fix this?
Him: What's there to fix?
Me: Well someone can temper the value and let it pass to the payment gateway.
Him: No, they can't we are using https
Me: I' am done with you
He has Masters in software engineering and has few security certificates.25 -
My client might just make our designer ragequit. 30 days ago he said: ohh this login page looks empty, I want images in the background. 15 days ago he said: I like the images, but change this part and this part. Today he said: I don't like any of the imagea, get rid of them. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)3
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The first time I caused a massive error on production.
The good news was the site didn't go completely down. The bad news, however, was that it went down for 60% of our users, and because it's only partial, it got detected only after about two hours.
Everyone halted what they were doing to help investigate the issue. When it turned out that my latest commit caused the error, I was told to fix it... with the CTO and senior software architects watching.
It all happened because I deleted one too many line, an if statement, making the accompanying else statement a complete nonsense. It was a corner case code unforeseen by the QA guy.
The attached meme perfectly describes my feeling for the rest of the month following that accident.2 -
Spent about 3 hours arguing back and forth with a QA engineer on what a particular API call was *supposed* to do. It actually got a little heated and probably bothered me way more than it should have, but in the end he comes back with "well why don't we just ask the dev that wrote the code in the first place". Guess who that was?2
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If you understand -_-
Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep😋13 -
A moment of silence for all the USB flash drives that we purchased and have no idea where they are or who did we borrow them to.7
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First rant goes here...
Had an interview for post of android dev at a start-up(please note: they specified they need a full-time android dev for their team, junior role, even freshers would do). Not a single question asked from android- architecture, apps, libraries, not even anything from my resume. They thought that any person who can 'reverse a linked list on paper' can work with them, but not a dev who has a year's experience in android development.
At the end, after asking me about a dozen (quite simple) DS questions, they said they can't provide the opportunity to a fresher, and I can join as an intern for 3-6 months and 'work my way up'.
WHY THE FUCK YOU SAID YOU NEED A FULL-TIME ANDROID DEV WITHOUT MUCH EXPERIENCE? AND WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME RELEVANT QUESTIONS?3 -
That moment when a friend was talking to you about an artificial intelligence he is building that is supposed to be a voice assistence and "even better" than Cortana. After a long time I asked him for the code like I wanted to check out the revolutionary techniques of machine learning he was talking about. So here is a short part of the 600 lines long "voice logic".
I almost started crying 😂😂15 -
That look when a coworker who could not write a logic statement tells you to comment out more of your work!1
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Non-dev friend : hey I've got a cool idea, we'll create a site where people can post jobs and people can bid for it. We'll name it freelance.com. We gon be rich!!!!..
Me: okay....
Friend: so you in?
Me: No.
Friend: It's really easy, just build it like you built that website you did the other day (talking a landing page he saw me do in a week). In 2 weeks, we'll be millionaires. You'll do all the programming stuff, so you get 30% of the money, I'm the idea guy so I get the other 70%. About that, you in now?
Me: have you heard of odesk, freelancer, jobberman.
Friend: no... Does a freelance site exist.
Me: boy, it's 2016.
Friend: I just thought of it few minutes ago and my other friends thought it was a great idea.
Me: 🙈🙈🙈🙈😶🔫🔫🔫13 -
!rant
Programming is a huge blessing i believe we all should be thankful to. For me, it literally turned my life around.
11 months ago i was fighting a losing battle with depression, and contemplated suicide constantly. I would use a self remedy of smoking weed and sleeping all day long. I was depressed because i felt my life had no real value. I was doing nothing, and its kind of an infinite loop.
You don't do anything, so you feel bad, so you don't do anything, and so on.
That was until i finally took the step that changed my life. I searched and wanted to learn something. I always liked web pages so i thought id get into web development.
Did some research, found out that the fastest way to go was to learn ruby on rails. I followed a tutorial i found online, and literally pushed myself through it. There were times when there where things i didnt understand, and when it was really bad, but i pushed myself through it and i finished the tutorial.
Just finishing the tutorial and learning something new helped me alot. I had already quit smoking and was feeling way better, but after a while i started feeling bad again since i wasnt doing anything after i had finished learning, so i started working on a personal project, creating it from scratch, and just working on it day and night. I worked 14 hours a day, never really leaving my room ( this was during summer vacation ) for a month.
There were many things i didnt understand, but i never gave up and always searched for the solution and read about it until i understood it better. Looking back, there were things i knew could have been done in a better way, but as a first project, im proud of myself, not because it rocks, but because i did not give up.
In the process of starting a new life, i was really lonely. I cut all ties with everyone i knew, since they were all toxic, all i had in my life was ruby on rails and my web application. I wanted to launch it but couldn't due to personal reasons.
Not being able to launch and see something live, something that you worked so hard on, that you put so much effort into, that was devastating to me. I felt as if all my efforts had gone to waste.
And here is what i love most about programming, NOTHING EVER GOES TO WASTE. All that effort you spent on something ? All these all nighters you pulled ? All that frustration from that bug ? It will pay off later. It always does somehow. You get more knowledge and become a better programmer, and sometimes it even gives way to new opportunities and chances you never even expected.
I included my web application in my resume and it helped land me a job as a junior developer in a really nice company. A job that i wouldn't even have dreamed of several months earlier.
Programming and creating something new and learning something new everyday, creating something that people use, that someone else will benefit from and be grateful for, i think we should never take that for granted !
Tl;dr : learning how to code and web development saved my life9 -
A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!401 -
I got this one from my senior PM, You...go to your seat and get me a software...that would create other Softwares for me...so that I don't need to have explain every time I need something to be built...to people like you...i will use that and build for my own. I told him...Sir you can use an IDE.3