The average meeting: "I think that's a really great idea. Let's circle back on this and take a 60k view, leveraging the low-hanging fruit so we can identify you championed this technology".

Seriously? Championed? As if the other bs language weren't enough. And this is language that they use to convince clients. "My consultant championed A.I.". Are you fucking kidding me? It sounds ridiculous. Needless to say, we lost that client.

Opened a legacy PHP file from 2008.

No functions.
2,000+ lines.
Inline SQL.
HTML inside echo statements.
A single if (true) wrapping the entire thing like some cursed gift box.

At the top:
// Do not modify. Works perfectly.

At the bottom:
It writes to two databases. Only one exists.

Somewhere in the middle:
It sends an email…
to the client’s ex-wife.

I closed the file.
Rebooted my laptop.
Took a walk.
Still not okay.

Just recently discovered fcgiwrap.

It's a huge load off to be able to write a super simple script that can respond to a web request without having to deploy a whole application. I'm toying with the idea I could do that instead of using a whole GUI framework for local applications.

Job search isn't easy.

Not because there aren't any jobs, but because I am afraid of anything that seems remotely like my current toxic workplace.

Fack.

Your tasks are going slowly, let's have a meeting about it

Reading google revies of hospitals is one of my pet peeves. Like it is certainly not an indication to the hospitals quality. As there are mostly people reviewing who had a bad experience. Also a lot of hysterical people who are like: "Walked into the ER with minor headache. Was appalled at the wait time and left. Never going back there again. Worst service everrrr" or "The service woman at the front desk could neither give me a precise diagnosis nor where I had to go to get my second lobotomy."

Ssooo.. Turns out, I'm starting a new project in less than 2 weeks. Gotta go to Dublin for 2 weeks.

Fuck.
I'm not a traveling kind of a person...

Just heard that we don’t have testers anymore. There was already a low test capacity and now it’s full focus on clients and not on software building anymore.
Who needs testers any way right?
We need to just do everything right the first time!

messy backend API. root level payload object has a property that is being repeated in a property that takes an array of objects where this same property exists in each object in this array.

why do people work in a messy manner like this? why pass the same data twice in the exact same request?

(lead architect is smart, but holy fuck is his work a goddamn mess of technical debt and hurts my brain and productivity)

In french the world fish means "poisson". Not to be confused with a "boisson" (beverage), nor with the "poison" (poison).

But you could have fish beverage, which would be a "boisson de poisson". And some fish are poisonous, which would make it "poisson poison". Now let's take some poisonous fish, like some fugu, and turn it into a soup. You get a poisonous fish beverage, so "une boisson de poisson poison".

It also follows the poisson distribution

Work just keeps surprising me and giving me wtf moments. They want me to finish a course in 1/10th of the time that the industry recommends just because they don't have budget for more time. I'm quite pissed off. Now I have to work 700% faster. Let's do this shit. lol

My favorite kind of debugging.

One of my tool is basically a giant table.

I have a new version to push.

8 rows out of 1000000 are different.

I have to find out why

Needle in a haystack. Just great

God, i fucking HATE tech that involves running it through legal!

TIL: nginx conf does not support ' (single quotes) in comments.

2 hours of my day went out the window

Our ex-employee wrote an amazing SQL SELECT-query consisting of 6449 characters. It has 11 JOINS and takes a solid minute to execute.

The table it fetches from has 16 records and the SQL query returns 46857 records and it was production code lmao

I have PTO and time off from overtime which can temporarily go negative.and if it's negative at end of year the rest becomes unpaid time off. Due to special tax fuckery in my country, unpaid time off actually isn't objectively a thing, instead, my company pays tax based on my nominal salary and I have to pay them back with tax

To get out of this, I negotiated a rather special position where I'm registered for 6 hour days for a few months so that I can aggregate a bunch of overtime to be spent as extra unpaid time off that we aren't paying employment tax on for no reason when no work or payment is taking place.

This creates a rather funny loophole, in that my PTO days are worth 6 hours during these months but 8 hours for the rest of the year, whereas overtime and corresponding time off is measured in hours so it's always worth the same.

Naturally, like the strategic genius I am, I started recording all my absence in this period as PTO days without thinking because I wanted to see my time off on a nice universal counter. I realized about an hour ago that I'd been taking PTO at 75% efficiency.

Unless in severe pain, the cat will always enjoy this eternal moment, proud of its existence. Never questioning its needs, desires, likes or dislikes, a cat will never consider evaluating itself. The cat glories in its existence and lives with supreme self esteem. It so values itself that it will never assign a value to itself.

The cat has risen entirely above the need for self esteem through perfect self acceptance beyond the need for self esteem.

you're not allowed to hack computers, you get a felony for that

but hacking human brains is totally fine

Have you ever proposed great ideas to the company, yet they were rejected time after time, only for some half-assed golden favorite boy to steal the show for you with their half-assed idea?

I mean, now I understand that once you've been long enough in the industry, you express a deep, long sigh at least once a day. Plus, it affects your mental health. Not giving a fuck and just working on yourself more and your personal projects is crucial.

If you ever wondered how a lab-rat inside a labirinth might feel like, go and try delete that facebook profile you setup ages ago but still get spam mails from. The whole account deletion process has been engineered to maximize the likelihood of not deleting your data it's actually pretty amazing.

my plan for perfect state:
- powered by nuclear energy
- metric system, 24-hour clock
- state-owned and built midrisers for public housing with regulated prices, privately owned and built luxury housing
- free healthcare, free generic drugs, option to pay for name-brand drugs. option to choose the gender of your urologist/gynecologist
- free public education, free kindergartens
- free centralized heating, Russia-style
- same-sex marriages are legal. legal documents for polyamorous partners, though not the same one as what you get when you get married. they grant some rights and don't grant other rights
- gender-neutral bathrooms in all state-owned buildings. privately owned places have the choice to make non-gender-neutral, separate bathrooms. bathrooms for wheelchair users are mandatory
- weed is legal, psychedelics are legal. you can grow, but there are limits
- possessing any drug in small (relative to the drug) quantities is not a criminal offense
- free HRT & voice coaching for trans people. But puberty blockers are illegal. gender-affirming surgery for children is criminal offense. let kids wait till they're able to consent
- Swiss-style gun laws
- no official religion, but the capital city has state-owned churches of all major religions. religious leaders are elected
- pragmatism, statistics, no ideological & demagogic bullshit
- extensive tram, metro & rail network
- bike and pedestrian-first roads
- multiple "city centers", all walkable
- scientology and other cults are banned
- no free parking on publicly owned land, option to pay for a parking lot for your car. All paid lots are equipped with fast charging for EVs
- no petrol cars in cities. no car restrictions in the countryside
- Barcelona-style superblocks
- all office workers have the right to work remotely and visit offices only if they want to
- free abortions
- mandatory vaccines for children, free vaccines for everyone
- free, state-owned bike "rental" network
- airbnb and other short-term rentals can't occupy more than 10% of the city center, companies that own airbnb places can't be incorporated overseas, they should be present locally
- Japenese-style "obsessed with fairness"-style local elections
- free shelters for the homeless, dedicated shelter network for domestic violence survivors of all genders
- refined sugar content in all food products (except for 100% refined sugar) is regulated and limited
- all vegan food items that are designed to replace meat-based items can't cost more than their meat counterparts
- four day, six hours per day work week. for people working in shifts, eight hours per shift max (you'll need three shifts to fill 24 hours)
- mandatory vacations, paid for by the company
- six months worth of salary if you're laid off, two months worth of salary if you quit on your own with two weeks notice
- autobahns with no speed limit
- no noise after 21:00
- ban underground and overhead crossings. people shouldn't climb to just cross the road
- Swiss privacy laws
- well-funded, well-equipped police force. all bodycam footage is public. turning bodycam off is grounds for termination. small task-force within police to fight corruption
- every citizen gets a free domain name of their choosing
- bike theft = car theft
- graffiti is not a criminal offense, but city cleanliness laws are Singapore-style (though not as harsh)
- all phones have user-replaceable batteries
- PRISM-type shit is illegal. all electronic devices sold here should be stripped of backdoors & surveillance
- completely ban hostile architecture
- government secret service should exist, but the number of people there should be limited
- ban exotic pets
- real, long sentences for pedos (pedos in the us are basically free, they barely get any time)

overall, I think there should be more separation between city and countryside laws. no one needs a Ford F-150 in my imaginary city, but some farmers do need it in my countryside!

Starving again. I’m in that “running on fumes” state already. Come, sweet slumber

Did you know there was a judaism school who just hated utf8?

The ascii-nazis

I fucking hate Figma.

It's primary use case is designing web applications, yet all of its naming conventions are based on SVG.

So you have to fight with designers trying to shoehorn SVG naming conventions into design tokens.

"Stroke" is border. Every time I see this I feel like I'm having a stroke.

"Drop-shadow" is box-shadow. This one really pisses me off because the properties you set for drop shadows are not valid drop shadow filters unless by some miracle the designer didn't discover the spread property. I suppose this doesn't matter because 99% of the time the code will apply a box-shadow anyway.

"Effects". FFS.

/rant

Pushed decrypted ansible vault to work repo. Time to cycle some s3 tokens.

Running a special today. My performance at work will be 40% off

Big sigh.

A new low for me, lol.

Beer, weed, good TV show. After 3 hours:

"Damn, I can't follow this show, so complicated. Let's go code a new feature in my app!"

And 1 day later, reviewing the code (because I have no memory of it), it actually works with just 2-3 edits...

Shithead manager.

Complaining that I'm a "senior" and he expects more from me (ignore that he's been making that complaint for 3 years and it's only been my job for less than 1)

Now complaining that I'm taking time to teach someone about something that they don't actually need to know.

I'm so fucking done with this job.

I've been gone a hot minute.

I'm just sharpening sticks to fight in the robo-apocalypse.

John Connors got nothing on pointy sticks.