I told the interviewer I was a rockstar developer.

I didn't tell him I meant rockstar in the "take loads of drugs and trash the hotel room" sense.

Can't sleep at least before midnight but..

Also can barely stay awake during the day

Sometimes having no work from office for the day feels like a negative thing.

Fuck Microsoft teams

That is all

this DUDE never hits tab when traversing directories or does ls.

like a something path.

Doing so much paperwork I basically have no time for the actual work. 😐

What's the difference between computers and sex?

In one you put the software in the hardware, in the other, the hardware in the software.

Fucking airstrike alert this morning in my federal state.
Yote me out of bed yelling "The russians are coming!"
Turns out it was planned but what the fuck, the closest siren is like 100 metres from my window.

if you’re on holiday, please stay on holiday.

Anyone remember windows 7, clear windows and a green highlight , someone make me 12 again

Tip: Use Ctrl+Backspace to delete a whole word.

You'll make a lot of money 💰

Bank ac:
$26.00

When the school you attended changes their name after you’ve finished attending, how do you refer to the school you attended? Asking for a friend.

It’s me. I’m asking for myself.

How to upload picture.

Due to Work From home.. I forgot about this platform totally :(

How men select clothes:
stack.pop()

How women select clothes:
Elasticsearch.search()

Fixing my crashed car, wish I could just turn it on and off 😅

Please, for the love of god, Stop creating markup languages, we have enought

A swedish insurance company has two different solution for logging in to their system.

1. An advanced high security single sign on solution involving active directory, verification of the network the request came from etc etc.

2. Using a link and passing your credentials in the query string!!! Like: insurancecompany.com?username=admin&password=password.

Solution 2 works with admin accounts from anywhere.

So as a new git user, did anybody show you how to fork? 😂

Why did the developer delete all the F’s from his code?

Because he didn’t give an F. 🥁

So Twitch goes open-source?

I'm thinking I know why the approximation graph of my ML goes sideways.

It can never reach the solution set completely because the solution set has decimal places to the 1x10^(-12)

Me on a tech part of a job interview: "We shouldn't do it this way because it violates separation of concerns!"
Interviewer: *clearly impressed*

Me 2 weeks later: *does exactly what I said that shouldn't be done because I can't be arsed to do it the right way*

Manager: We need to fix this QA backlog. I’m going to share the workload of doing QA.

Dev: Please don—

*Dev email notification getting spammed with approvals*

Dev: …Are you even pulling the code down to test it locally?

Manager: There’s no time for that! We have to get this PR backlog pushed through! I’m just looking at the code to see if it looks good and approving based on that.

*Later that day*

Manager: HEY NONE OF THE FEATURES ON STAGING MEET THE REQUIREMENTS AT ALL. THIS IS A BUGGY MESS, WHAT HAPPENED GUYS??

Dev: …

Workers work just hard enough to not be fired and owners pay just enough so that workers won't quit. 😅

Okay.. Live Text is goooood 👌

Gifts from company
Why are you sending me something which I don't want? Isn't the concept of gifting is to give something which the receiver can utilize. Just send me the bonus and let me decide what I want for myself. I don't want expensive chocolates and cookies with unconventional jars. I want a nice a pair of headphones or maybe a smartwatch. The price is the same as what you are sending me, so please stop this.

100 gecs to music is like that goose game to games

People should do a better job hiding what they are around me. This includes doing something different instead of being goddamn ants.