For those who care, Facebook is now Meta, so meta will be stalking you via Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp

At a previous job, we had a CTO and in a meeting of all the department heads, we all realized we have a CTO that knows about as much about tech as the pigeons do.

I’d always seen the confused emoji, I however never knew an actual human being could look like it, I’ve seen confused people, but on this day I saw a living 🤔…

How did I manage to achieve this result, I told him you can’t copy AngularJS code into a Flutter project, I then proceeded to tell him you also cannot copy it into a react project. I think I broke his brain.

Oh and yes, I worked at a development house, all the department heads were developers except for the QA head.

I swear “remote” has become the most hated word for recruiters, the moment you message it they vanish, never to be heard from again…

Can you say multitasking…

3 more workdays and then this nightmare of MS Teams will be over. I swear when Microsoft planned that they had a list of everything Slack did right and told the team if anything on that list was included they would be hung up by their unmentionables with fish hooks.

Like I know most like to hate on recruiters, and I guess that’s cause may, maybe even most, are just a pain and don’t really understand development nearly well enough to actually target relevant candidates.

I’ve dealt with a few over the years when looking, this is the first time however one has sent a contract that includes a 3 month default clause.

Not sure about other countries but in mine there is a legal 3 month probation period, which really is there in part to allow either party the ability to terminate the agreement at basically a moments notice.

Maybe I don’t like the company or how they work, maybe I lied my arse off during the interview and copied an assessment off the web, or hek they just don’t like me…

It’s a legal period in which pretty much and any reason is a valid reason.

Yet for this recruiter, no matter the reason, if the employment ends during those 3 month, I would then be liable to pay her 10% of my annual gross.

Like NAF…

Gawd today was depressing, we started migrating to teams. I now know that everyone is a liar, everyone has been telling me it’s shit and that’s a blatant lie, it’s utterly shit, it’s an insult to shot to call teams shit.

I love swag, got into a local virtual event, they ship you the full kit to make an audrino powered self watering plant…

Bag included a build it yourself Pandalf

Glowing duck...

We were contracted into this big corporate company about 12km down the highway from us in the most congested part of the city.

We had a 1 hour meeting scheduled for the Wednesday that we had to drive in for, on the day before that we had to drive in for a 1 hour planning meeting for the next days meeting.

We had a 1 hour meeting to plan a 1 hour meeting...

Today started good, the latest PR merged in took our Flutter app to 66% coverage with 1009 tests.

This means we also have 1001 more tests than our companies other apps combined. 🤣

FUCK. So the bog boys get all in a panic about one of our best devs leaving.

They respond to this with 2 things, that I am aware of, 1 is to setup meeting with all the devs to see if they are happy, the other was this message sent to me from our CEO.

"Heya..We've decided to give you a one time thank you bonus.. will be paid at month end .. thank you for everything regards".

Today I find out what that "bonus" was, a nice 8% of my salary. Like HTF is that a "bonus".

Is @assmaster stalking anyone else, I’ve gotten over 20 notifications this morning because he/she has commented “Nice” on my rants or rants that I have commented on...

Seems very bit like if you ask me, poorly coded bot seeing as it’s only able to comment “Nice” but anyway.

Looking at their profile they joined today and have commented “Nice” on over 7k posts at time of writing.

I think some of us have moved past the apocalypse and some how landed in utopia.

Person online complaining their app build is slow and wants tips for speeding it up, apparently 23 seconds is too much time to wait.

Personally if my app build is going to be slow I prefer around the “how long it takes to make coffee” timeframe. Can’t even turn on my machine in 23 seconds...

I recon the new project is off to a good start...

Finally, proof that both Avast and Atlassian are shit...

It’s taken how many decades to figure out that Atlassian is nothing more than a well disguised virus.

I fixed a bug properly... Took down an entire application systems, sometimes you just gotta monkey patch that shit.

So it was a 15 year old cold fusion system and chrome had deprecated some window pop up feature, so I tracked it to the shared function that triggered this, fixed it there, tested it and even got it all past qa.

Turned out some of the other modules on the app had some other logic around this that made it not work there, they had implemented the fallback check without any fallback logic.

Time to rollback a 3 week sprint...

And today I renewed my IntelliJ license... bye bye money...

Yesterday’s dev achievement. Created a docsify project so that the rest of the company can start documenting their shot.

Something I had implemented in my team a while back, first thing this morning I get a message from the CTO to add mermaid support for his architectural graphs for his latest project.

Tomorrow’s dev achievement, 0 lines of code will be written after 9am.

It’s actually been quite a fun day, after some ranting on one of our slack communities flutter channel, myself and my team realized we were in a really good place to give back.

We have been working on a large scale flutter application for about a year, phase 1 is about done and we at 11k LOC.

We have been doing a big push for testing over the last 2 months and are at about 50% coverage. The thing we realized is that is the 1 place flutter has fallen short with documentation.

Very little about what we learned for testing our code came out of a google search, or it came out of cobbling bits together from numerous searches and sources.

So we decided we are going to plan and host a virtual meetup to discuss what we have learned and hopefully teach a few people some useful things and hopefully also learn a few new things too.

In addition, and as it has a longer shelf life, we going to setup a medium publication for the company and start a series to cover small specific topics, specific use cases or scenarios that we had trouble with and solved.

Today I had my first thing to type out, had worked out how to test that a function that was passed into a widget was called. So the parent passes the child and onTap function but you are testing the child not the parent as the child is reusable...

Anyway, so with that idea I got hold of marketing for some assets, setup the publication and proceeded to type out 3 articles today, all nice short ones under 2 min reading time.

It really is nice to give back, it’s not like I am Remi smart and can go and write BLoC, but I am smart enough to figure shit out and type it up so that the next guy hopefully benefits from my brain bashing.

So with all this new political correct bullshit pandering to the extra sensitive snowflakes, what do we call a “blackout” from now on?

I love business ya know, always soo damned smart.

Our current products code base is soo old it will literally up and stop working come December, from April we cannot launch new clients on it.

The new app should be production ready, at least the MVP with our most essential features.

A week from tomorrow a new senior dev starts so that he can build new features into the current app.

Forgive me for I have sinned.

I feel like I need a bleach shower after having had to write these methods in my Dart codebase

I love this new description for my job... Programming: pressing plastic squares in more or less the right order... 😂

@phrawzty

Pretty good haul, I see why developers really go to these conferences

Off to my first DevOps Days tomorrow...

Some recruiters are just pure genuises...

I installed Snapchat to try the gender swap filter...

I was bi-curious.

I just found a developers/designers worst nightmare...

My girlfriend is just like my linger, she keeps complaining...