Last week:

Client: Hey sometimes when I sent about 20 messages to your app they need a long time to arrive. Why is your app so slow?

Me: We are using Google Cloud Messaging to deliver messages. There is no guarantee when messages arrive.

Client: So such a big company is the fault? And not you? Pls make it faster. Make it always act the same.

Working as a programmer is pain in the ass because the people with the money don't know a shit about anything.

I changed just a fucking useless string.. I deployed the "new version" and I told him I boosted everything.

Today he spoked with my buddy about another thing and he told him by the way the app is now much faster.

..placebo update

Our professor in operating system lecture, topic: multiprocessing, today: "Just kill all children".

!dev && !rant

So... We bought a house! First Day, moved in, so exciting.

Just wanted to share 😉

I'm still using the trial period of WinRAR

I code using Vim to avoid memory leaks.
Nothing leaks outside Vim. Nothing ever leaves.

IF YOU WRITE IN A FORUM ABOUT A PROBLEM AND YOU SOLVED THE PROBLEM, TELL US THE FUCKING SOLUTION YOU MORRON! YOU TOOK THE EFFORT TO JUST WRITE "I SOLVED THE PROBLEM" WITHOUT WRITING A WORD ON HOW THE FUCK YOU DID IT. DO YOU THINK I READ THIS FUCKING TOPIC FOR FUN? I AM ONLY INTERESTED IN THE SOLUTION, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU SOLVED IT OR NOT!!!

It's important for developers to remember that......

For the rest of the world a "string" and a "thread" are the same thing..

if (condition) {
//code
}

if you place your brackets like this, you're an awesome individual. Let's be friends

Holding the power button to shut down your computer feels like you're choking someone to death.

Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

JetBrains IDEs hands down. These folks know what devs need.

Lamer rant

For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.

Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.

Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!

Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.

Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.

Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!

Fkk...

Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!

F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!

Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!

I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.

Well said mate... well said...☝

Real wannaCry is when your mouse wheel dies and you can't afford a new mouse until next month.

I discovered this the 'new' open source OS by Google named Fuchsia. Build from the kernel up so no Linux.

Now we can say that " Hey Siri, open Google Assistant "

Never gonna happen ..

Every user of any app: "damn these annoying ads. I hate ads!"
Average devRant user: "Dfox, add ads please so we can support you more."

What a wonderful community (except those who repost memes). ❤️

/*
* First anniversary of devRant unofficial for Windows 10 (UWP)!
*
* Let's celebrate by giving me 500 ++'s 😁
*/

Exactly 1 year ago, on 18 May 2016, I released the first public version (v0.9.2.0 BETA) of my client for Windows 10 users.
I found this wonderful community a few days before, on 12 May 2016, thanks to an article on TNW.
The only flaw was the missing Windows 10 Mobile client for my Lumia 950, so I decided to create a simple one on my own that initially allowed you only to see the list of rants, without the ability interact with them.
A few days later, after spamming the app on twitter, I was reached by @dfox, a very kind person, who gave me all necessary tools and help to bring all official features to Windows 10 users.

A project that I created initially just for fun and necessity became the main project I'm working at in a very short time.

I received a lot of positive reviews from users that motivated me to improve and continue it.
It's true, Windows 10/Windows 10 Mobile users are few, but they appreciate your work as no other and with a lot of feedbacks and suggestions help you to improve it making it very satisfying.

I would like to thank @dfox who made this possible, my friend @thmnmlst who helped me a lot with precious advices and created the presentation below, and of course the whole Windows 10 community! 😉

Good Ranting!

P.S.
If you haven't tried it yet: https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...
For all updates follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/JakubSOfficial

The v2 is coming... sorry for the delay, below a little preview (alpha) to be forgiven. 😋

I never appreciated HOME and END buttons as much as I do since I started coding.

I don't have a degree but my code works....

My doctor told me to remove coffee from my diet for a week

This will be a looong week

Unpopular opinion: I like eclipse

I used to sit next to my friend Mira in class. I did all the homeworks and extra homeworks, she didn't. I had better grades in intermediate exams. When the final grade came, I had a grade lower than hers.

When the next semester started, I met that professor again. He called me Mira! 😡

Spend around 8 hours trying to adapt code I found on the internet to my problem, without success.

Spend around half an hour implementing it myself, with success.

Guess I should put more trust in my skills...

I got an F on my first Java assignment in high school. I decided to use a List to store stuff as opposed to his method of creating 8 variables and copy-pasting method calls to interact with them. Apparently he doesn't like students using concepts he hadn't taught yet.

During the second year of my graduation we had a subject called​ C & Data Structures. This asshole of a teacher (who taught programming by just reading the programs out of the textbook ) came to somehow know that I had learnt C & was good at it (some student had gossiped about me in front of him). Everyday when he came in for the lecture he used to call my name & say - "You think you are very smart please come in front & teach C to everyone" for no apparent reason. (I had never showed him that I was good in programming). For almost complete semester I kept silence & he used to laugh & keep me standing for the complete lecture. But one day I was particularly not in a very good mood & he came & said the same thing. I went & taught for the whole lecture & the whole class applauded at the end. The look on his face was priceless 🤣

Told my gf I wanted a coding buddy so she won me this during the hackathon 😀

NO!

Your Facebook profile is not your "website"!

I did it boys, shes mine. 😃
Happy Valentines