TLDR : I left a company which doesn't understand the concept of email id and passwords.

Me (trying to login to the alumni website) *no register user option*

Customer support - you've to click on forgot password to create an account.
Me - Wonderful

*clicks on reset password*
*enters employee id, name, email, father's name, DOB, date of joining , date of leaving, current city because apparently if I just enter my employee id it is as if they never knew me. Sigh*
*your password will be sent to your email id*

Me - okay. *waits for two weeks because I assumed someone will manually go and create my account and email me, considering the state of system. *

After two weeks,

Me - I still haven't received my password on email after I created my account. Can you please check?

After one week,

Customer support - you need to click on forget password if you forgot your password.

Me - *inventing new curse words* I have not forgot my password, I never received it in the first place!

After one week,
Customer support - yes you'll receive your password on your email id.

Me - *runs out of curse words* seriously dude?
* proceeds to reset password*
System - your password has been reset. Your new password will be sent to your email id. *apparently anyone can reset passwords if you have the employee id, which is an integer*

After a week

Me - Am I going to ever receive the password? I've tried generating passwords, resetting my password. I never get my passwords. What should I do!!

Customer support - yes you need to click on Forgot password.

Me - are you fucking kidding me!!!
You fuckers need to be fired and replaced by a FAQ page which has no question and just a single answer, because a peanut has higher IQ than you. For any questions you may have, just reset password. Goddammit idiots!
Also, which email id are you sending my passwords to?

Customer support - myname@oldcompany.com

Me - you do realize that this is the alumni website for the company. Alumni means ex members.
Being ex members, you can assume we don't have access to our company email ids obviously?

Customer support - yes.

Me - how am I supposed to get the password using my old email id then?

Customer support - you need to click on forgot password option.

I think I should probably move to the Himalayas for my anger management issues. Plus it'll be probably easier to throw idiots off a mountain.

Navy story time again. Grab that coffee and fire up Kali, the theme is security.
So, when I got promoted to Lieutenant Jr. I had to attend a 1-year school inside my nostalgic Naval Academy... BUT! I was wiser, I was older... and I was bored. Like, really bored. What could go wrong? Well, all my fellow officers were bored too, so they started downloading/streaming/torrenting like crazy, and I had to wait for hours for the Kali updates to download, so...
mdk3 wlan0mon -d
I had this external wifi atheros card with two antennae and kicked all of them off the wifi. Some slightly smarter ones plugged cables on the net, and kept going, enjoying much faster speeds. I had to go to the bathroom, and once I returned they had unplugged the card. That kind of pissed me off, since they also thought it would be funny to hide it, along with the mouse.
But, oh boy, they had no idea what supreme asshole I can be when I am irked.
So, arpspoof it is. Turns out, there were no subnetworks, and the broadcast domain was ALL of the academy. That means I shut EVERYONE off, except me. Hardware was returned in 1 minute with the requested apologies, but fuck it, I kept the whole academy off the net for 6 hours. The sysadmin ran around like crazy, because nothing was working. Not even the servers.
I finally took pity on the guy (he had gotten the duties of sysadmin when the previous sysad died, so think about that) and he almost assaulted me when I told him. As it turned out, the guy never had any training or knowledge on security, so I had to show him a few things, and point him to where he could study about the rest. But still, some selective arp poison on select douchebags was in order...
Needless to say, people were VERY polite to me after that. And the net speed was up again, so I got bored. Again. So I started scanning the net.
To be continued...

Release is coming.....

Stack overflow

I will test this w/ my crush after a few minutes but I will use . NET because she is a .NET senior developer... wish me luck!

Linus being linus.

Same lol

Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.

It shows when it's time to rant

Overheard from the room next to mine:
Person 1: My computer is frozen ..
Person 2 (Not a native English speaker): Did you try to shut down and shut up ?

young user @Mizukuro asked days ago for ways to improving his javascript skills.

I wasn't sure what to say at the moment, but then I thought of something.

Lodash is the most depended upon package in npm. 90k packages depend on it, more than double than the second most depended upon package (request with 40k).

Lodash was also created 6 years ago.

This means lodash has been heavily tested, and is production ready.

This means that reading and understanding its code will be very educational.

Also, every lodash function lives in its own file, and are usually very short.

This means it's also easy to understand the code.

You could start with one of the "is..." (eg isArray, isFunction).

The reason for such choice is that it's very easy to understand what these functions do from their name alone.

And you also get to see how a good coder deals with js types (which can be very impredictible sometines).

And to learn even more, read the test file for that function (located in tests/<original file name>.js. For the most part they are very readable and examples of very good testing code.

Here's the isFunction code
https://github.com/lodash/lodash/...

Here's the test for isFunction
https://github.com/lodash/lodash/...

The one thing you won't learn here is about es5, 6, or whatever.

Product in different perspective

Why did I laugh at this for six solid minutes omg I’m at work

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

That moment you realise Typescript is not called Typescript because it has types but because of the immense amount of typing you have to do to get anything done...

Haven't been active for quite a while

when ur friend says: im "programmer/hacker" hahahah

Windows 10: can i install an update in 2 mins?

Me: can u not fking see that i have a million programs opened and im doing important shit rn

Windows 10: ok boss

2 minutes later

Automatic restart

Int x;

LEGEND 999999...and continuing

Counter strike

thanks Albert Einstein

Me, whenever I attempt to use eyeliner...

(real talk, this is why I don't bother trying to use eyeliner)

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2019)
-------------------------
Hey everyone!

Today, @trogus and I are very happy to announce a devRant feature that we’ve been working on for many months. After extensive time and money investment, it’s finally here! Introducing, pixelated avatars!

@trogus came up with this awesome idea about a year ago, but we couldn’t get it just right so we had to tons of work/research to make those pixelated avatars give the full sense of retro and ULTIMATE pixelation. We think everyone will appreciate how this effort turned out.

Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!

p.s. here is @trogus’s avatar - the model we used to make sure the feature is perfect!

This is why you DONT deploy in a Friday!

Now can we all agree to stop disagreeing!

Ps: I love CommitStrip sometimes.

Since a very christian colleague joined my team, i learned how important cursing is in order to do this job. I honestly can’t do my work without the occasional diarrhea of foul words.

I want to see this in Sydney Australia someday guys. Also visit Atlassian HQ there

Super important prospective client: Yes but can your software application do that thing?

Me: Yes, yes it can do that thing.

Prospective: Great, fantastic thank you please take my money.

Me: Awesome.

Me: *runs away to implement that thing*

Please have my tombstone read "sales-oriented software" as cause of death.

So you have billion dollar idea, keep it to yourself.....

alright man thats enough