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AboutStudying game development
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Skillsa bit of java, c#, php, and c++
Joined devRant on 5/14/2017
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*happily tapping along on my projects while commuting*
Some random kid appears, overly interested in what I'm writing, so I let him look.
Then he goes *snort* do you know why Java threw c out?
No.
*giggles* because c told Java to stop treating women like and objects.
Well, treating them like primitives is no good either.
*kid walks away*
Then I hear: mom. That man ruined my joke, he said treating women like primitives is no good.6 -
An entirely typical exchange at work:
PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?
ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?
PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.
ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.
PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.
ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.
6 hours later…
ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.
PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.
ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?
PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.
ME: Babelsets?
PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.
ME: There are users!?
PM: Of course!
ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.
PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?
ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?
PM: Yeah.
6 days later…
ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?
PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.
ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!
1 hour later…
ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.
PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?
ME: What cron?
…
ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.
PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.
ME: Right. I’ll change it...
PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.
ME: What visual?
...53 -
I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!
I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?
I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!
Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out48 -
There is a spider outside my window at work that I've named Vanessa. She is a web developer. And every time I squash a bug, I feed it to her.5
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I saw a quote maybe 2 weeks after I signed up in this Heaven, I can't (read "I'm too lazy to") find the quote but some guy was lowkey panicking about the fact that all his friends were "currently building X, almost finishing to dev Y", while all he ever did was a small project like "yeeey, I can do something with my 10 fingers"
This rant was interesting, but the top comment kind of marked me, if I remember well, it said something like "All I read is 'doing' and 'almost finished', while you 'did'. I would trust you over these guys".
From this day, while I worked on two side projects, there was always a moment where I thought about this sentence.
Today, I finished one of my side projects. I DID it.
Dang it I feel complete.3 -
I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.
A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.
A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.
So the secret code is now "".
Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.
...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.
I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.31 -
Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:
"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"
😅27 -
Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...89 -
Fun/Interesting fact:
"++i" can be slightly faster than "i++"
Because "i++" can require a local copy of the value of "i" before it gets incremented, while "++i" never does. In some cases, some compilers will optimize it away if possible... but it's not always possible, and not all compilers do this.15 -
Every time I read "JSON" I get Heavy Rain in my head.
"Jason! Ja-son! Jason!"
https://youtu.be/nN81CU2b9rA?t=593 -
Not Dev, but definately rant!
Fuck this new nanny political correct bullshit society!
Fuck micro-aggression, fuck safe spaces, fuck overly sensitive bullshit people who can't deal with any kind of difference of opinion.
If you can't handle other people go lock yourself in a fucking coffin and leave the moderatelly sane people the fuck alone.
*sigh* So, now that that's out of the way, can we please agree on some way to deal with these fuckers without putting an axe in their central nervous system?
How do you respond to this bullshit?5 -
As a developer in Germany, I don't understand why anything related to development like IDEs, git clients and source code documentation should be localized/translated.
Code is written in english, configuration files too. Any technology, any command name in a terminal, every name of a tool or code library, every keyword in a programming language is written in english. English is the language of every developer. And English is simply a required skill for a developer.
Yet almost everything nowadays is translated to many other languages, espacially MS products. That makes development harder for me.
My visual studio menus are a mess of random german/english entries due to 3rd party extensions.
My git client, "source tree" uses wierd translations of the words "push" and "commit". These commands are git features! They should not be translated!
Buttons and text labels in dev tools often cut the text off because they were designed for english and the translated text is bigger and does not fit anymore. Apparently no one is testing their software in translated mode.
And the worst of all: translated fucking exception and error massages! Good luck searching for them online.
Apple does one thing damn right. They are keeping all development related stuff english (IDE, documentation). Not wasting money on translations which no developer needs.19 -
She: Do dates make you nervous?
He: Oh yes, especially when the client and server are in different timezones and I need to calculate the difference and they are in different formats and I mean why can’t everyone just use ISO8601, right?
She: Okay never mind bye..........8